THERE IS MORE HAPPENING THAN GLOBAL WARMING!
It all started with the
hurricane. Sandy
roared into New Jersey and swung north putting
large segments of New England underwater and without power, then it tracked
north into Canada - but only
skirting northwestern Maine. As the storm passed us we experienced
thunder, lightning, heavy rain and a strange mist that was too heavy to be
considered fog.
The first inkling that
something was wrong was a telephone call from my neighbor up the road. Hunting season had opened and at dawn
Marge’s husband had left for his tree stand in the woods behind his house. He returned about nine-o-clock with his
clothes torn and ripped and his face clawed and both his eyes sockets empty. Somehow he had found his way home. Ned was raving that he had shot a turkey and
that when he left his tree stand to pick up the bird it came back to life and
attacked him. Marge’s two teen age boys
grabbed their guns and headed to the tree stand and at dark they still were not back
Meanwhile, the paramedics had
collected Ned and he was still raving about a turkey trying to eat him. The paramedics said that Ned had probably
fallen out of his tree stand into heavy brush which poked out his eyes, and
that he was suffering from delirium.
Later that afternoon Marge
called and said that there were thirty turkeys in her back yard and that she
had taken her rifle and shot six. She
said that the birds dropped in their tracks shivered and within a minute stood
up shook their feathers and then attacked the house, throwing themselves
against the door and the windows. Two
had crashed through the kitchen windows and she had locked herself in the
bathroom with her cell phone. She
called 911 and the police dispatcher threatened to arrest her if she made any
more crank calls.
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| They are coming to get you Barbara! |
I took my shotgun and went
down the back trail to Ned’s place. There were, in fact, about 23 turkeys in
her back yard – around half were pecking seeds under the bird feeder like turkeys
do, but probably eight or ten were flapping and squawking and seemed to be
enraged. Just then Ned’s Rottweiler
came around the corner of the house and rushed at the turkeys. Some of the turkeys continued to clean up
around the bird feeders, but the wild acting ones converged on the dog with
such ferocity that the dog fled into the woods.
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| Turkeys marshaling an attack on the dog! |
With whoops and screams the wild turkeys pursued on the ground and in
the air. The rest of the turkeys stopped
feeding on seeds and followed the attacking birds.
 |
| Chasing the dog into the woods |
That was six days ago. This morning while I was away from the house
my wife disappeared. I found truck tire
tracks in the driveway of a six wheel vehicle with a tread of the kind used by
the military 6X6’s. I checked up and
down the neighborhood and no one was home.
The entire road we live on was empty of people. At some houses the doors had been left
open. At the mouth of our road where it
ties into Route 4 there was a blockade and a government quarantine sign warning people that
the road was closed and under marshal law due to a bird flu epidemic affecting
the area.
On the way back to the house,
down a side trail to the creek I saw the back end of a military Hummer
vehicle. I parked behind the vehicle,
took my deer rifle and started down the trail.
I hadn't gone thirty yards when I came across the body of a young male
in what was left of a fatigue uniform – he looked like he had been the victim
of a school of piranha. Further down
the trail I came on the body of a young lieutenant. He was alive, but barely. The lower half of his body was shredded and
his intestines were exposed. I gave him
comfort and talked to him and he eventually told me the people on our road had
been collected and transported to a quarantine facility north of Eustis, on the
Canadian border. He was afraid the
turkeys were going to return and he asked me to end it for him – and I
did.
I returned home for my cold
weather gear and some food and more ammunition. I found the electricity off, the telephone
no longer worked and there was no cell phone service. As I left the house and traveled north it
seems the whole area of western Maine
had no electricity and no cell phone service.
I am now sitting on a ridge
overlooking a wire enclosure that looks more like a concentration camp than a quarantine
center. The compound is overseen by what
appears to be military troops but in black uniforms. There is actually no one guarding the fence
compound which is only about five feet high and looks to be made out of chicken
wire fencing, but the fenced in area appears to be under the observation of a couple of
men huddled around a camp fire near the fence gate. There is a helicopter in the clearing north
of the fence and beside it a large tent there are four large troop carriers and
a couple of Hummers.
The men, women and children in
the compound are all necked and wandering around in what appears to be a
drugged state. They shuffle more than
walk and often bump into each other. Occasionally one will urinate or defecate
while shuffling around.
I estimate about four hundred
people in the enclosure and so far have not seen my wife. About an hour ago four of the soldiers came
into the enclosure pulling fifty gallon drums filled with what appears to be
gruel, which they dumped into a trough.
They banged on a large pan with a ladle and that seemed to get the
attention of the people who turned and shuffled toward the troughs. Some stuck their heads in the food and ate
while others clumsily scooped food up with their hands and smeared it in the
vicinity of their mouths. There is a
hose stretched about six feet high behind the troughs and it appears that water
is dropping from holes along its length, as I see people amble to that area and
hold their heads back with mouths open – appearing to drink.
The weather is cold. I don’t think many of these people will last
the night without clothes.
My plan is to locate my wife
and tonight strip bare ass and try to infiltrate the compound. I will get my wife and bring her out through
the woods to my truck which is well hidden not for away in a draw. I am not sure where we will go, possibly
cross into Canada
on the back logging roads.
LATER:
The wife and I made it out
and across the boarder, and are staying at a motel. My wife has improved and hopefully will
recover fully. Meantime I must warn you
– There appears to be a turkey zombie apocalypse in progress and it appears it
is being covered up by the government.
If you see turkeys, chickens or any type of birds stay away from them –
and whatever you do don’t kill them.
And this is very important:
On November 6 we are still having a presidential election and you have got to
ask yourself who would you rather be handling this Turkey Zombie Apocalypse:
Flip-flopping Romney, who’s answer is to cut taxes, protect the rich and
shuffle government responsibilities to the private section; Or, Barack Obama
who ended the war in Iraq, rescued the Somalia hostages, killed bin Laden and
brought order to the devastation caused by the massive hurricane Sandy? The future is in your hands.
THE ZOMBIE TURKEYS ARE
COMING!
THE ZOMBIE TURKEYS ARE
COMING!
THE ZOMBIE TURKEYS ARE
COMING AND THEY ARE NOT VERY NICE BIRDS.
VOTE OBAMA 2012.
the Ol’Buzzard
