Showing posts with label Ageing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ageing. Show all posts

Saturday, October 1, 2016

AGEING






On my last post I commented on how old I look.  As I said, I had not seen a picture of myself for a couple of years and I don’t look at mirrors except in passing.   Like Trump, I hardly feel my age at all – except for a lack of stamina and some creaky joints.  

The thing is, we all age incrementally and are not conscious of the age changes that others who have not seen us for a while politely register without comment.



Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy this time and place in life, though grudgingly accept my limitations.  

Old age, in itself, is a winter landscape: a time to cut back, to read, to relax by the fire, to be content with a cup of tea and a cat in your lap.  It is a comfortable time – and I enjoy it. 

But damn, when did I start looking so fucking old?

the Ol’Buzzard



Saturday, August 23, 2014

WHO AM I?





“One and the same human being is, at various ages, under various circumstances, a totally different human being.”

Solzhenitsyn:  The Gulag Archipelago

 
Only my wife hasn't changed.
She is still the beautiful young woman I married. 

I am not a vain person.   I rarely study myself in a mirror.   My hair is curly so I never comb it – I just wet my hands and run them through my hair when I splash water in my face each morning after I wake up.  I never trim my beard or get a haircut until my wife complains that I am starting to look shaggy.  The few times I do look in a mirror I see a stranger looking back.

It has occurred to me that I am a totally different person – an incarnation of who I once was.  I have the same DNA of that earlier person, but there the likeness ends.   I do not look the same: my hair is silver, my ears are larger, my facial features are different, I am less physically fit.   The difference doesn’t end there: I have totally different values, different goals, different priorities, different likes and dislikes, and I am smarter than that younger person. 

I am in no way like my younger incarnation. 

 the Ol'Buzzard


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A MOMENT OF GEEK




In an earlier post I mentioned that I believe that time is perceived differently by people of different ages.   So here is my reasoning.



According to Einstein’s theory of Special Relativity time is not absolute – it can vary according to the speed of an object.   The theory pertains only to the time relationships between two objects where one is moving away from the other at a fixed speed.

To simplify the theory let me give an example:




 A            rocket              B




A is a base station that shoots a burst of light to station B every two minutes.

There is a rocket ship traveling between A and B at ¾ the speed of light.

Every time the rocket receives the burst of light from A it fires an identical burst of light to B. 

Because the speed of light is constant B receives both beams of light from A and the rocket simultaneously at two minute intervals.

But, because the rocket is moving away from A at ¾ the speed of light (constantly increasing its distance from A) it is receiving the light flashes from A, not at two minute intervals, but at three minute intervals. 
Ref: Einstein’s formula – for geeks…
Elapse time = the square root of the  time in reference-one divided by one, minus the speed of the rocket square divided by the speed of light square.

The crux of this is that A is transmitting light burst at two minute intervals - and B receives the light from station A and the rocket at identical two minute intervals; where as the rocket is receiving and transmitting its light burst at three minute intervals.

Time is moving faster on the ground than it is on the rocket ship.  What takes two minutes to happen on the ground takes three minutes to happen on the ship. 

By the way, this has been proven in experiments.

Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity deals with time variations due to strong gravitational fields.   

But we don’t have to go into that - it is enough to know that time is not constant but can seem to vary under different circumstances.   (Actually the cosmos doesn’t give a damn about time and gravity and space – these concepts only matter to humans as we try to understand and catalog everything to our limited understanding.) 

Now for the Ol’Buzzard’s Theory of Relative Time:

A child of ten perceives a year as one tenth of his life.   It seems forever between one Christmas and another, or birthdays.

A man of seventy perceives a year as one-seventieth of his existence – a relatively short time between birthdays.



Time is experienced seven times faster for a seventy year old than for a ten year old.

Each year I seem to get older faster.   That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  

the Ol’Buzzard  

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

THE OLD BULL AND THE YOUNG BULL


ACCEPTING AGE

Yesterday I was moving wood from the woodshed behind my house to the storage rack I have built by my side door.   After the second trip of loading wood on my sled and hauling it and stacking it at the storage rack I was feeling twinges in my lower back.   I opened the side door (I couldn’t go in because I had cleats on my boots) and asked my wife to get my elastic back support. 

I was somewhat pissed off with myself remembering that I use to work in the woods all day and never had to wear a back support.   I knew better than to complain to my wife, however, because her answer would be ‘Get over it, you are not thirty any more,’ (no sympathy there.)

Back out at the wood pile – bitching to myself- I thought of an old ol’cowboy joke:

An old bull and a young bull are on top of a hill, looking down at a herd of cows.
The young bull taunts, “Hey old man, how about we run down this hill and fuck a couple of those cows.”
The old bull replies, “I have a better idea son; I’ll just walk down the hill and fuck um all.”

I think the moral of the joke is that you can’t let young bulls decide who you are.  And: I’m not thirty any more.

***********

For anyone who heats with fire wood I am enclosing a couple of pics of the storage unit I built by my side door.   The top to the wood frame box that is the roof of this unit is a piece of metal roofing I had left over.  The top (roof) is not attached to the sides and can be lifted up and turned over forming a metal bottom box that I fill with potting soil and use as a back door herb garden in the summer.   The base of the unit is 4x4’s and the side upright post that support the roof are 2x8’s.   In the winter I cover the storage unit with a small tarp – leaving the side of the tarp by the door unsecured and weighted at the bottom – for access.   The overall size of the unit is 2x8x4 - designed to hold 1/2 cord of wood. 






the Ol’Buzzard

Friday, February 10, 2012


AXE GRINDING

I am sick and tired of the demeaning commercials that run constantly on TV displaying older people as stupid, demented cripples with false teeth, pissing their pants, needing catheters, unable to comprehend technology, riding in motorized chairs, needing Viagra and ready to buy into schemes like reverse mortgages. 

 I have no problem with advertising the prows and cons of a product for people with specific needs; but the present selection of actors and the way these ads are presented to the general public I find objectionable.   

I feel that these ad agencies are probably staffed by thirty-something young people that actually view older people as pabulum eating, incompetent, regressing relics sliding into dementia – and that’s the way they present them on TV. 

I despise the commercial with the older woman in her hover-chair riding around in circles in her kitchen, waving her hand in the air and appearing to holler ‘wee wee wee!’ like the pig on the GEICO commercial.

I am seventy-two.   I retired from the military at forty-two.  I received my Bachelor Degree at forty-six and my Masters at fifty.  I spent eleven years teaching in the Indian and Eskimo villages of Alaska – retiring at sixty-seven.    I am married to a young woman and have great sex (without Viagra.)  I made my first solo parachute jump at seventy and plan to jump again this summer.  I ride a motorcycle in the summer, and in the winter I heat my house with firewood.  I work out at the gym twice a week and bowl twice a week – and, I am not unusual.

I hope that if the time comes that I require special products for age disability I can deal with a company that will approach me an intelligent adult. 



The Ol’Buzzard 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

A MAINE LAMENT


SNOW AND REMEMBRANCE

I am up this morning at six o clock and as I pass the window, on the way to the bathroom, I note the snow has not arrived.   WCSH weather forecasters said it would start at six: six to ten inches in our area.   We have had one snow this winter worth shoveling out.  As I start the fire to warm up our cabin, my wife is still in bed,  I am joined by our old cat.  She somewhat impatiently waits for me to finish the fire and make her breakfast of salmon juice laced with her thyroid pill.



 I sit and watch the fire build in the wood stove and think about the earlier days and the changing face of Maine. When I first came to Maine in 1962, Maine was still a wilderness.   At that time Rangeley, Maine was a two café and one grocery store town (now, like L.L. Bean, it has become a yuppie Mecca for sportsman.)   My buddy and I would drive the icy roads to Rangeley to deer hunt – and you had better bring your snow shoes if you planned to leave the road.  In that era snow came in the woods in late fall and staid and grew; by mid winter you could step off your snowshoes and sink in a drift up to your chest.   There were no snowmobiles; and few people other than the locals.  

In the spring I would go to Joe Mary Lake and spend a week.  More than likely I would not see another human unless I went out to the local town for supplies.  In the evening, by the camp fire, I would listen to the wood cock and the king fisher as they settled in, followed by the song of the night hawks and fish splashing in the shallows as the sun went down.   In the morning I would climb from my sleeping bag and shiver as I lit my fire set.  I would set the tea water on the Coleman gas stove and then go down to the lake’s edge to wash my face and get a bucket of water; I would often find a moose feeding in the nearby cove and sometimes see bear tracks on the beach.   Back at the fire I would warm up and get dressed - a cup of tea – some cold biscuits from the night before and then out in the canoe for the morning trout rise.   Today Joe Mary Lake is filled with housing. 

In the early sixties I ran the Allagash River.  We drove two hours on dirt logging roads to get to the base lakes to launch.   It took us three days paddling (and fishing) on the base lakes to finally arrive at the dam that marks the headwaters of the river.   The Allagash runs 110 miles, from south at the dam, north to the town of Allagash - where we would take out.   The first fifteen miles of the river, known as Chase Carry Rapids, is a sometimes dangerous but always challenging stretch of water.  Once you have run Chase Carry the rest of the rapids are manageable; the only other concern being Allagash Falls.    We spent seven days on the river - and on the fourth day a motorized canoe with a game warden stopped and talked to us, and then headed north – we didn’t see him or anyone else again.   The trip was through beautiful, unspoiled wilderness - what memories.   

Back in Brunswick, about once a month, my buddy and I (we were both in the Navy and both Maine State guides) would  get off work, drink a few beers and around midnight decide to drive fourteen miles to L.L.Bean.  Today Bean is a mega store catering to upscale couples: selling everything from designer boots to clothing to household furnishings – their hunting and fishing supplies are there more for the ambience then to cater to the local Maine woodsmen.  

Back then, L.L. Beans was a warehouse – with concrete floors.  They were known for their rubber-bottom-leather-top hunting boots.   Bean was open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week; but made most of its money selling mail order.   Their products were designed and practical for Maine and the northern bush wilderness.  When you entered the front door there was a counter with pipes for sale and pipe tobacco: they always had open cans for sampling and my buddy and I would fill our pipes and spend two or three hours rambling through the store checking out Fendwick fly rods, fishing flys, guns, Old Town canoes and tents.  Back in the parking lot we would drink some more beer or whiskey before heading back to our respective families.  The next day we would show up work somewhat bleary eyed, at the Navy survival school where we were assigned. 

Here it is: eleven o clock and still no snow.  

 Maine still has beautiful wilderness, but not as pristine and untrod as it use to be.  Today hikers on the Appalachian Trail look for high terrain where they can find a cell phone connection.   People carry GPS instead of compasses.   They dress in microfiber instead of wool.   At night they sit around the camp fire with headphones in their ears while texting or playing Angry Birds on their cell phones. 

There are thousands of miles of snowmobile trails that now crisscrossing the Maine wilderness.   Where my cabin is located there are seven camps owned by people from Massachusetts.   They are good people, and they maintain their camps.  Usually, on a long week-end they show up on a Friday night – whoop it up – and the next morning, bright and early head out in a pack, like Hell’s Angles of the wilderness.  They storm along the snowmobile trails for a hundred or a hundred and fifty miles to some designated lay over where they have rooms reserved and they can enjoy a steak dinners, sit in a hot tub, drink beer and ogle at the waitresses.   The next morning they are up at dawn for another marathon ride to their next destination.   Finally on the third night they return to their camps – crash early and the next morning head back to Massachusetts - driving too fast, and riding the bumpers of the slower Maine drivers.   It is kind of sad: I can see more wildlife and experience more of the wilderness wonders in one hour on my snowshoes than they will see in three days.

What has happened to the Maine wilderness?   I guess I am among the last generation to remember the skills of camping and woodcraft - being alone and traveling through the wilderness.   It breaks my heart to see the warning in the Maine Fishing Regulations telling pregnant women not to eat the fish from Maine waters and warning fishermen not to have more than one fish meal a week.  

There was a time when our little town had one old, rundown theater; and you could get a meal at either the local diner or one prepared at the local drugstore on hot plates.  At that time my wife and I lived in an old farm house without water, sewerage or electricity and we traveled back and forth to college on our motorcycle.

Today the Maine wilderness has opened up – it is now a destination for people seeking their “get away.”  MaineVacation Land.    Change has its up side and down side: now our little town has nice restaurants and a multiplex movie theater; we have an excellent hospital and many amenities we would not have with out the growth and tourism. 

I am retired and my wife and I make (barely) enough to keep the wolf away from the door.  And, at my age I know my future is short; but I would not trade the memories I have of the real Maine wilderness for the memories that the young people of today are amassing.

It is noon and still no snow.   I wonder where the snow has gone – perhaps the Massachusetts people have taken it. 

Two p.m. it’s snowing.


 the Ol'Buzzard



Friday, November 11, 2011

I CAN'T REMEMBER

I RECEIVED THIS IN E-MAIL AND THOUGHT I'D PASS IT ON.






Our Yearly Dementia Test-- only 4 questions

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.


Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!


Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.


Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not - The space after each question separates the answer so you are not tempted to peek..


OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?


















Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..

Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?






















Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World.

However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?





















Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

4. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to


Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus.


In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.


In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on.


In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.


In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on.


In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.


You then arrive at Milford Haven ..


Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?





















Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own age?

It was YOU driving the bus!




Oh well, I got 100% wrong. At least I can name three departments of government I'd like to get rid of: let's see, there is the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Energy the Department of .......let me see.........somebody help me........I will remember it later.







the Ol'Buzzard

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

HE' BACK

Well hell, for what it’s worth the Ol’Buzzard is back.




Perhaps it's what all bloggers go through – like mid-blog crisis – it seems you’ve said it all and it’s a repeat of the same old shit. You’re sick of the same political crap – it just rehashes and becomes the same theme with different names. Nothing changes and nothing is going to change.



Facts we must live with:

1) All senators and congresspersons are primarily interested in reelection – the only way to truly move the government toward serving the people would be TERM LIMITS…and it ain’t going to happen. Just as there is a test for teachers, lawyers and doctors, there should be a test for political office – most would never pass it.



2) Education is the only way to seriously address the long term unemployment crisis – and the government doesn’t have a clue how to do it. If you truly want to know how to effectively educate the population: ask a teacher. A one size fits all policy and standards for a diverse population is ludicrous. However, government will never relinquish education to the educators – it is to good of a platform to run for reelection on. (never end a sentence with a preposition – fuck it.)




3) One half of the American population falls on the back side of the intellectual bell curve, and one quarter of the population is functional but borderline retarded.





4) Education credentials are not an indicator of intelligence: look at the Republican Presidential candidates.





5) Religion is the archenemy of civilization: It is the base of almost all intolerance and bigotry. Religion would choose to move civilization backwards toward the dark ages and away from science and enlightenment.





6) Gender equality doesn’t exist. Males and females are two alien creatures that must exist in a symbiotic relationship; but, we don’t have the same aggressive tendencies, the same emotions, the same physical abilities, the same sex drives, the same outlooks or the same priorities.



7) Growing old doesn’t suck. It is just the expectation of disability and death that sucks. The main problem with growing old is that young women don’t want to fuck you any more.



The Ol’Buzzard


Oct. 26, 2011

Sunday, June 12, 2011

NIHILISM

BUDDHIST TEACHING:
All Things Are Impermanent.

What the hell is going on?

Cost of living going up.
Income fixed
Unexpected bills.
Growing old.
Aches and pains.

As if that's not bad enough:

We jumped from Ben Laden shot in the eye to Weiner’s wiener.

Where is the sanity – is there any left – or was there ever any.

Does any of this fucking matter?

I started out this blog asking: Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about.



My Kentucky great grandmother was a Presbyterian and believed in predestination - everything that happened was god’s plan: a real head-in-the-sand way of looking at things; but at least she wouldn’t have to question the lunacy of existence: she saw war, politics and social conditions as god’s will; deaths, famine, hardships as god’s test.

I can’t buy it: the world is happenstance – Chaos theory rules.



Our universe came into existence in its present incarnation some 15 billion years ago by some chance explosion we explain as the Big Bang Theory.



Our universe is composed of some hundreds of billion galaxies one of which is our Milky Way, which contains some 400 billion stars, one of which is our sun. Here on earth we have matter, life and laws of nature that may be totally different from other universes.




String theory proposes multiple parallel universes: the same universe presented in different space times and perhaps forms.



Einstein’s theory of Special Relativity (and like evolution it is not a theory but substantially proven) built on the constancy of the speed of light proves time is a variable and not a constant – predicting the ability to time travel forward (but not backwards) in time.




Einstein's theory (again proven) of General relativity deals with the ability of a mass's gravity to bend light resulting in a curvature of space time. This theory allows us to accurately predict the navigation results of space shots and allowed us to develop accurate Global Positioning Systems to within a few feet.



So there we are: one of a billion billion solar systems in galaxies where time and space bend and are variable, with a probability of multiple parallel universes – and on a random planet containing an animal life form that believes itself intelligent, immortal and the reason for all existence; and is obsessed with Anthony Weiner’s wiener.





Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about?
It has to be.


Friday, March 25, 2011

YOU ARE GETTING OLDER - GET USE TO IT.


LIFE DEATH AND THE HOKEY POKEY.


What is it like to grow old? You know, it may seem funny, but I don’t know. I am in my seventies, but I don’t think of myself as an old man. I look in the mirror and I see the grey hair and beard, the old man’s tits, the wrinkles on my face and spots on my hands. I know I get out of breath when I exert myself, I don’t have endurance and my balance isn’t so great; but, I don’t think of myself as old. In my mind I feel exactly like I did when I was thirty-five I am still sexual, I like new adventures, I like an element of danger – the adrenalin rush, I still feel like an alpha male; I’m a thirty-five year old with age disabilities.



The main difference is - I am aware I don’t have a future. I can’t plan ahead… I can’t say, “In a few years I will travel someplace, or I’ll get another degree and a new occupation field, or perhaps in five or ten years I will …” I don’t even buy Craftsman tools for my tool box – because you buy Craftsman tools for the long haul. This is it. This is what I have. Today is the rest of my life. I still feel like I can fight, fuck, play contact sports or run a footrace – but that damn common sense tells me I am not the man I was. Age is a disability I have to learn to live with.



I know I am smarter than I use to be. I no longer do stupid things to impress young women. I tend to view the world more holistically and less egotistically. I am better educated and have more mistakes to reflect on.



I also find I am plagued with sometime annoying short term memory retention. When I’m cooking I will walk to the refrigerator and think, “What the hell did I come over here for.” I occasionally can’t remember if I took my blood pressure pill in the morning and will have to check the pill box. But, this doesn’t bother me. I look at the brain as a hard drive with finite memory capacity. I have been downloading information to my hard drive for seventy years and I have reached a saturation point, so if I add something new, something else is automatically deleted and my computer is running slow.  Think of the things in my hard drive: early childhood memories, twelve years of public school, twenty-two years in the military, world travel, two degrees, three occupations; the list can go on and on and on – experiences – memories – adventures - people I have known. My hard drive is full.



So here I am, with the realization that I am near the end; and I have to ask myself: is the Hokey Pokey really what it is all about?

My next blog will discuss the concepts of Buddhism; which is my formula for accepting the condition of aging.   Through Buddhism mindfulness I am able to bring quality and enrichment to each day.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Life, Death and the Hokey-Pokey or What it's like to grow old.

LIFE, DEATH AND THE HOKEY POKEY


Ol'Buzzard flies


What is it like to grow old? You know, it may seem funny, but I don’t know. I am in my seventies, but I don’t think of myself as an old man. I look in the mirror and I see the grey hair and beard, the old man’s tits, the wrinkles on my face and spots on my hands. I know I get out of breath when I exert myself, I don’t have endurance and my balance isn’t so great; but, I don’t think of myself as old. In my mind I feel exactly like I did when I was thirty-five.  I am still sexual, I like new adventures, I like an element of danger – the adrenalin rush - I still feel like an alpha male; I’m a thirty-five year old with age disabilities.



The main difference is - I am aware I don’t have a future. I can’t plan ahead… I can’t say, “In a few years I will travel someplace, or I’ll get another degree, a new occupation field, or perhaps in five or ten years I will …” I don’t even buy new tools for my tool box – because you buy tools for the long haul. This is it. This is what I have. Today is the rest of my life. Age is a reality I have to learn to live with.



I know I am smarter than I use to be. I no longer do stupid things to impress young women. I tend to view the world more holistically and less egotistically. I am better educated and have more life experiences and mistakes to reflect on.



I also find I am plagued with sometime annoying, short term memory retention. When I’m cooking I will walk to the refrigerator and think, “What the hell did I come over here for.” I occasionally can’t remember if I took my blood pressure pill in the morning and will have to check the pill box. But, this doesn’t bother me. I look at the brain as a hard drive with finite memory capacity. I have been downloading information to my hard drive for seventy years and I have reached a saturation point; so, if I add something new, something else is automatically deleted. Think of the things in my hard drive: early childhood memories, twelve years of school, twenty-two years in the military, six years of college, travel, three occupations; the list can go on and on and on – experiences – memories – adventures – things I’ve done and people I have known. My hard drive is full.



So here I am, with the realization that I am near the end; and I have to ask myself: is the Hokey-Pokey really what it is all about?



The dog dies, the cat dies, the rabbit dies, the horse dies, the frog dies, the fish dies, the fly dies, you die, the cockroach dies, the tree dies, the rose bush dies, the pope dies, the microbe dies, the chicken dies, the hamster dies, eventually the sun dies and life on earth is dead – and that’s all. Get over it.



You put your right foot out

You put your right foot in

You put your right foot out

And you shake it all about.

You do the Hokey-Pokey

And you turn yourself around.

That’s what it’s all about



We face the woeful prospect that we are intelligent creatures living in a meaningless world. Steve Hagen: Buddhism Plain and Simple.