Tuesday, June 30, 2015


Yooper posted a blog post about officials down south that still refuse to issue marriage licences to gay couples.   

My response is listed below.

The law of the land is not settled and any federal ,state or  local public official that refuses a marriage licence should have a personal liability suits brought against them from each party wronged.   A few monetary suits for stress, anxiety and psychological damages brought against these officials for refusing to do their job would end this quickly.

Making it personal would scare them into compliance.

the Ol'Buzzard



but we need one more category


Drag Queens

I'm just saying
the Ol'Buzzard

Sunday, June 28, 2015


We are a country of laws based on freedoms guaranteed by our constitution; and sometimes it takes the courts to reexamine our laws and put us back in compliance

The Supreme Court’s ruling that freedom to marry is a basic right of all American citizens also reaffirmed a second point: that any one person’s or group’s religious beliefs cannot be dictated as the basis of law for the entire country. 

The First Amendment to the Constitution guarantees an individual’s basic right to worship, or not worship, as he or she pleases - free from government dictate; but it also guarantees that the government shall not enact any law based on one group’s religious doctrine and impose such doctrine on all American citizens. 

Every time I hear a politician invoking his religious belief (or the Bible) as the basis for or against a proposed or standing law or ruling I cringe.  

The First Amendment to the Constitution states plainly:  Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion…  

It has always been touted that the Pilgrims came to the ‘new world’ seeking the freedom of religion; but the reason for their migration was to flee from a nation mandating a specific religion’s doctrine as law – a freedom from mandated religion. 

Unfortunately many fundamentalist Christian sects in the United States would see this country as a Christian theocracy and impose their beliefs and bigotry and prejudices as the law of the land; and for a long while our Citizens have been endanger by a movement of radical, mostly Republican, legislatures aimed on enacting a form of Christian Sharia Law and declaring this country a Christian nation. 

The Court’s ruling today was based on the Constitutional premise of equality of the law; but it also reaffirms the First Amendment - that all persons in our Nation have a right to their religious beliefs and to worship as they please; but they do not have the right to inflict through legislation their personal religious doctrine on the public at large. 

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances

the Ol'Buzzard

Friday, June 26, 2015


I had to appropriate this from Squatlo's Rant.   Funny how you see things most of your life but never actually comprehend what you are looking at.

the Ol'Buzzard

Sunday, June 21, 2015


1.   Concerning the racial motivated Charleston massacre it is interesting to note that all the white Christians are calling for the death penalty while all the AME black Christians are calling for forgiveness.

2.  Debbie Dills trailed the killer and was primarily responsible for his apprehension; but when questioned gave the credit to GOD, saying it was HE who guided her to be on that particular highway at that time, so he deserves the credit for the apprehension.   She doesn’t ask the question ‘where was GOD when all his followers were gunned down in his house?’

3.  On Meet the Press today Chuck Todd showed a clip of convicted murderers in Sing Sing that were speaking of the evils of the availability of guns.   All three interviewed were African American seeming to promote the covert idea that African Americans are more apt to commit murder than white people.   But, when you look at all the mass killings that have happened over the last decade the overall majority were committed by white men: the Colorado movie theater, Sikh Temple in Wisconsin, Elementary school shooting in Connecticut, etc.

4.  The Republican pundits have twisted like pretzels to avoid the implication that the Republican base in the red states still carry racist attitudes toward non-whites.  

5.  The Confederate battle flag means two different things to southern whites and blacks.   Whites have the idea that it represents a noble time when their ancestors defended their homeland in order to protect a way of life… a pride in their white southern culture.   Blacks, on the other hand, see it as a slap in the face – a racist white supremacist symbol that they have had to confront since the days of slavery.

6. You can revel in the dog days of summer all you want; but know that Winter Is Coming.

the Ol’Buzzard

Saturday, June 20, 2015


Tomorrow is Summer Solstice the longest day of the year, then the days shorten and we move toward WINTER. 

Winter is coming: and the wood pile needs replenishing and the oil tank topping off.

Winter is coming: it is time to start thinking weatherization. 


PM the snow blower and find incandescent bulbs to heat the well house because Winter Is Coming.

Winter is coming:  Note to self: take every opportunity to ride the motorcycle while I still can.

Winter is coming: time to make the appointment for the chimney cleaning because:

The days are getting shorter as we move toward winter – I can almost feel it – Winter Is Coming.

Winter is coming and I can’t wait – but first we have to get through summer…But winter is coming.

Here in Maine we live with the fact that WINTER IS COMING


the Ol'Buzzard


Thursday, June 18, 2015



It will make the Republican debates worth watching.
the Ol'Buzzard


I think new ground has been broken by Bruce (Caitlyn) Jenner and Rachel Dolezal.   We tell children, ‘You can be anything you want to be when you grow up.”   Now we can add to that: ‘You can be any one you want to be.’

With that in mind I have come to a decision: I am disgusted with the religious insanity driving the U.S. at all levels of government; so I’ve decided to be a Canadian.    Not just any Canadian but a Newfoundlander.   Not just any Newfoundlander bur Joey Smallwood the legendary Premier of Newfoundland that walked the train tracks from Port-aux-Basque to St John’s to garner votes.

Ize the bye that builds the boats
And Ize the bye that sails her.
Ize the bye that catch the fish
And take them home to Liza.

I don’t want you maggoty fish
For they’re no good for winter
I can catch them just as good
Down in Bonavista.

Yes bye, some shocking my son -  I’m Joey Smallwood because I says so.

I jigs for cod on Trinity Bay; I take a bottle of Screech to the squid jigging grounds; I fills me pail when the capelin runs; and when I wants some mutton I steals Aunt Martha’s sheep.

When I’m hungry I want me fish and brewis, or boiled salt cod with scrunchins.   

My mates and I drink India and Blue Star beer from the Newfoundland brewery

 and I do the Newfy stomp when the fiddle and accordion play.


Yes Skipper, I know the songs, I eat the food, I drink the rum and beer: I am a Newfoundlander.   I’m Joey Ol’Buzzard Smallwood –  because I says so. 

Monday, June 15, 2015



If you are owned by cats you will recognize this. 


the Ol'Buzzard


My beautiful wife and I live an independent, solitary life style – somewhat off the grid.   We supplement our heating cost by heating with wood when the temperatures allow, we have gas lights installed in our cabin for use when we lose electricity, and I do all my on maintenance and upkeep – including snow removal in the winter which is no small chore. 

We know that at some time in the future the rigors of this lifestyle will make it difficult for my wife to sustain when I am gone, so we are considering sometimes in the future moving into a more manageable abode – perhaps a condo where the maintenance is not an issue. 

This poses the question of what to do with all the STUFF we have collected over the past thirty-five years.     So, as an answer I have determined to start selling some of our STUFF on ebay.


So far I have sold one item and I am $46.28 in the hole after expenses. 

Ain’t entrepreneuring great?

the Ol’Buzzard


fuck-um.  Another reason not to buy into religion.

the Ol'Buzzard


I was channel checking this morning (Sunday) waiting for Meet the Press and happened to pause to marvel at a megachurch in the frenzy of religious mania.   It looked as though there could have been a thousand people packed into this massive auditorium, three tiers deep.   The preacher was shouting and pointing up in the air, and the congregation was all standing and waving their arms and pointing their fingers toward the ceiling.

What the hell is this pointing toward the sky?   Do they really think that the cosmos doesn’t exist and that somewhere above them is a physical second story housing all of their dead relatives – the home of God?

My grandmother told me that when she was a young bride and living in western Kentucky there had been the unusual occurrence of a northern lights display.   People in that part of Kentucky had never seen the aurora and many were crying in their yards or out in the road praying – they were sure it was the end of the world – the Rapture.   That was in the 1920’s.

After my wife and I left Alaska we moved to Kentucky – the town of my earliest memories – the town of my grandfather’s people.  We ended up leaving because the religious fanaticism was smothering.   We were there during the millennium and the people were actually preparing for and expecting the Rapture and the return of Christ (I was worried about my computer dumping.) 

All the pictures of the Rapture show everyone clothed – often in white robes; but what if you are necked and in the shower; or drawing a piece of ass; or in the middle of a good crap?   Are you snatched up as you are, or does Jesus give you a chance to wipe your ass and pull your pants up?   I am sure the answer must be someplace in the Bible.   If I am ever around one of those megachurch-preachers I think I’ll ask him.

the Ol’Buzzard

Friday, June 12, 2015


Yesterday and not for the first time, I experienced the voyage of the Enterprise up my nether part.   It takes a brave crew to venture there for who knows what aliens may be encountered. 

The procedure was scheduled for Thursday morning and the instructions were to have ‘my last meal’ on Tuesday night.   After that I was to have only clear liquids up until midnight on Wednesday and then nothing.

But there was an add-on: starting at noon on Wednesday I was to begin consuming one gallon of the nastiest liquid ever devised, one ten ounce glass at a time, at fifteen minutes intervals.  

Being a math person I instantly recognized one gallon of witch's brew translated to 128 ounces – divided by ten ounce glasses – divided by four glasses an hour meant that I would be gagging down this disgusting fluid for over three hours at fifteen minute intervals.


To ingest one gallon of any liquid (other than beer) in three hours is a feat in itself - this is more than should be expected of any human being.  The diarrhea that resulted was actually a relief knowing that that evil alchemist concoction would not forever remain a part of my system. 


After sitting on the Iron Throne for a few hours, what was left of me was finally able to go to bed, only to get up at five in the morning to watch my wife eat breakfast before heading for the day surgery. 

The best part of the whole procedure was the happy-shot they administered just before they violated me. 

You would think when I awoke I could have at least expected a mint on my pillow. 


Poor wife
The gas still remains
the Ol’Buzzard

Monday, June 8, 2015



I'm so old I remember ice boxes.  
When I lived in Kentucky the ice delivery man would come about every three or four days and deliver ice in 25 or 50 pound blocks

I'm so old that I remember car air conditioning before air conditioners. 
You added water and the ram air from the forward motion of the car would cool the air and vent it into the car through the passenger window.

I'm so old I remember soft drinks available only in bottles.

 I'm so old I remember bottle openers.

I'm so old I remember cold water bath soft drink dispensers.

I'm so old I remember telephones before dial phones.
My grandmother and grandfather separated and he had one of these phones in his hotel room.  The town I lived in in Mississippi had no dial service and was answered by an operator when you picked up the receiver - ours was a standard type phone but without the dial.

I'm so old I remember cars with back doors that opened backwards.  A real danger if a kid or someone opened the door while in forward motion.

I'm so old I remember kerosene cook stoves.   
You poured kerosene in a glass jar that was then turned upside down and placed in the receiver box sticking out from the stove, and then lit the burner with a match in order to cook - yes they smelled.

I'm so old I remember vacuum tube radios.

I'm so old I remember  black and white TV's with a twelve inch screen
The first TV I ever saw was at an uncle's house in Chicago about 1948.  It had a round screen about nine inches in diameter and all the pictures were fuzzy

I'm so old I remember collecting Straight Arrow Indian Cards in Nabisco Shredded Wheat.
I didn't like the cereal but I wanted the cards so I ate Shredded Wheat.

I'm so old that I remember radio before television was available.

I'm the Ol'Buzzard

Friday, June 5, 2015

Wednesday, June 3, 2015


If you walk into a movie theater or playhouse and don’t turn your phone off you are an asshole.

If you are seated at a restaurant and carry on a conversation on your cell phone you are an asshole.

If you are sitting at a restaurant with one or more friends and take out your phone to check your messages you are an asshole.

If you are driving and talking on your phone you are an asshole (and if you are driving and texting you are a fucktard asshole.)

If you are driving less than two car lengths from the car in front of you, you are an asshole.

If you are at a restaurant and talking and laughing excessively loud you are an asshole.

If you leave your dog unattended in a car you are an asshole.

If your dog craps anywhere other than your own yard you are an asshole.

If your dog or cat is allowed to run free outside of your yard you are an asshole.

If you take your dog into a store or a restaurant you are an asshole.

If you carry a firearm into any a restaurant, store or any public venue you are an asshole.

If you feel that everyone else should defer to your religious beliefs you are an asshole.

This is just the short list: feel free to add to it at will. 

the Ol’Buzzard