THE GULLIBILITY OF PEOPLE FEEDS RELIGION

I was channel checking this morning (Sunday) waiting for Meet the Press and happened to pause to marvel at a megachurch in the frenzy of religious mania.   It looked as though there could have been a thousand people packed into this massive auditorium, three tiers deep.   The preacher was shouting and pointing up in the air, and the congregation was all standing and waving their arms and pointing their fingers toward the ceiling.

What the hell is this pointing toward the sky?   Do they really think that the cosmos doesn’t exist and that somewhere above them is a physical second story housing all of their dead relatives – the home of God?

My grandmother told me that when she was a young bride and living in western Kentucky there had been the unusual occurrence of a northern lights display.   People in that part of Kentucky had never seen the aurora and many were crying in their yards or out in the road praying – they were sure it was the end of the world – the Rapture.   That was in the 1920’s.

After my wife and I left Alaska we moved to Kentucky – the town of my earliest memories – the town of my grandfather’s people.  We ended up leaving because the religious fanaticism was smothering.   We were there during the millennium and the people were actually preparing for and expecting the Rapture and the return of Christ (I was worried about my computer dumping.) 

All the pictures of the Rapture show everyone clothed – often in white robes; but what if you are necked and in the shower; or drawing a piece of ass; or in the middle of a good crap?   Are you snatched up as you are, or does Jesus give you a chance to wipe your ass and pull your pants up?   I am sure the answer must be someplace in the Bible.   If I am ever around one of those megachurch-preachers I think I’ll ask him.

the Ol’Buzzard

ANOTHER APOCALYPSE

BEND OVER AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE

We live under the threat of total devastation and the apocalypse purveyors are quick to describe how we all will demise – except themselves, who are constantly preparing for the great survival.

We have the nuclear apocalypse; the asteroid apocalypse; the global warming apocalypse; the pandemic apocalypse; the zombie apocalypse; and of course the God apocalypse (God so loves the world the He kills everybody – except the chosen few.)

Now, according to MotherJones we need to worry about the Jellyfish Apocalypse.   It seems that ocean warming along with overfishing (decreasing the natural predators of jellyfish) has caused a jellyfish population explosion and an expansion of jellyfish range and habitation. 

This increase has been startlingly visible throughout the Mediterranean and around Australia and the southern Pacific region. In Sweden jellyfish blocked the cooling ducts of a nuclear plant caused a shut down and in Israel jellyfish caused a problem at a coal fired plant; and even more appalling jellyfish have caused the closure of beaches throughout the Mediterranean resulting in loss of tourist revenue. 

It is estimated that world wide there are 150 million people stung by jellyfish each year: 500,000 in the Chesapeake Bay area and over 200,000 off the coast of Florida.   

There are very few fatalities from jellyfish stings though an encounter can be painful.   The box jellyfish found around Australia and the Philippians is considered deadly and a sting usually results in death within a few minutes. 

Jellyfish population encroachment has not posed a problem in North America at this time, but as ocean waters warm …

The solution seems pretty obvious to me: increase predation.   Perhaps peanut butter and jelly fish sandwiches.

You have been warned!

the Ol’Buzzard

A BUZZARD EGG OMELET #11

Happy Easter

All right, I get it.   A twelve year old girl was impregnated by…..  and had a baby that three hundred years later was declared a god at the Council of Nicaeae.    The religion that formed from this following venerates human sacrifice and proudly displays the icons of the event (a human being cruelly tortured to death through crucifixion) as its logo.   Even more disturbing, to me, is that some sects of this religion practice ritual cannibalism, claiming to actually eat the flesh and drink the blood of this two thousand year old dead individual during their communion.  

All of this I have grown up with and, though bizarre, have come to accept as part of the culture.  

But the thing that I don’t understand is the egg laying rabbits.

Really – egg laying rabbits?

   

I’m just asking?

The Ol’Buzzard

THE END IS NEAR!

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