ASSHOLE

If you walk into a movie theater or playhouse and don’t turn your phone off you are an asshole.

If you are seated at a restaurant and carry on a conversation on your cell phone you are an asshole.

If you are sitting at a restaurant with one or more friends and take out your phone to check your messages you are an asshole.

If you are driving and talking on your phone you are an asshole (and if you are driving and texting you are a fucktard asshole.)

If you are driving less than two car lengths from the car in front of you, you are an asshole.

If you are at a restaurant and talking and laughing excessively loud you are an asshole.

If you leave your dog unattended in a car you are an asshole.

If your dog craps anywhere other than your own yard you are an asshole.

If your dog or cat is allowed to run free outside of your yard you are an asshole.

If you take your dog into a store or a restaurant you are an asshole.

If you carry a firearm into any a restaurant, store or any public venue you are an asshole.

If you feel that everyone else should defer to your religious beliefs you are an asshole.

This is just the short list: feel free to add to it at will. 

 

the Ol’Buzzard