I didn’t
wash today.I wasn’t dirty. If I’m not dirty I don’t wash. Some weeks I don’t have to shower at
all.I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair and ass hole.To save time,
I use the same brush.
Why do we
need a C in our alphabet? You could
easily replace it with a K and 90% of the words would sound the same. For the few words where K won’t fit an S
would work just fine.
And let’s
drop the requirement for U to follow Q … qeen, qack, qake, qeer. It would make Scrabble easier.
Nobody ever
lost money underestimating the intelligence of the American public. P.
T. Barnum
A child
understands nothing, and clings to faith because it lacks knowledge. Salman
Rushdie
I didn’t wash
today. I wasn’t dirty. If I’m not dirty I don’t wash. Some weeks I don’t have to shower at
all. I just groom my three basic areas:
teeth, hair and ass hole. To save time
I use the same brush.
George Carlin
I would
enjoy living in a sane asylum.
Hanlon’s
Razor: Never attribute to malice what
can be adequately explained by stupidity.
If all
civilian ammo clips were limited to nine rounds the Orlando night club shooter would have had to reload 23 times.
A Texas
sharp shooter: You shoot a hole in the
barn door and then draw a target around it.
You can
never wade in the same river twice.
It is not
that I am obstinate; but if I were to drown my wife would first search for me
up stream.
If militia
nuts want to carry and play army with assault weapons they should join the
Marines and actually defend the Constitution of the United States - but most wouldn't make the intelligence cut.
Why do
vampire hunters always arrive at the crypt just as the sun is setting?
Americans are
at the bottom of competency test in math and science when compared to other
industrialized countries, which accounts for their willingness to buy into the
most outrageous fallacious claims.
If you are preparing
for the zombie apocalypse you have a long wait; because regardless of what
Christians chose to believe, zombies do not exist and never have.
Logic
Argumentum ad Ignorantiam – something is so because it has not been proven it
is not so… and the reverse.
All politics
is local. All education is local.
A single
sperm has 37.5 megabits of DNA information.
A normal ejaculation transfers about 1,587 gigabits in about three
seconds; and you thought 4G was fast.
Unknown – but I read it somewhere
Homo Sapiens have expanded to 7 billion and we threaten every other species on earth. Marcus Chown
There is someone in my head and it’s not me. Pink Floyd
Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes. Jackie Kennedy
For we live to know is known
And all we seek to keep is flown
Let life than as the day flower fall
Tamerlane - Poe
There are surely other worlds than this – other thoughts than the thoughts of the multitude. Edgar Allen Poe
We are just an advanced breed of monkey on a minor planet of a very average star. Stephen Hawking
1. What kind of god damn disease is
anorexia? I don’t wanna eat! How do we come up with that shit?
2.Bulimia. There’s another all-American disease. This has got to be the only country in the
world where some people are digging in the dumpster for peach pits while other people
eat a nice meal and puke it up intentionally.
3.Auto racing is a sport that is very
big in the south; a perfect marriage of fast cars and slow minds.
4.Most of the racing fans are soldier
sniffers and patriotic halfwits. The’d
be honored to have the occasional military jet slam into the crowd and send a
couple of hundred of them off to be with Jesus.
5.White people fucked up the blues.
6.The only good thing ever to come from
religion was the music.
He says exactly what I feel better than I can express it.
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Nothing can ever change for us - because we don't have control.
"It's a big club - and we're not in it."
But in the end, the earth will out; and our puny little existence, and the Gods we have created in our image will all pass, and the earth will heal itself as if we never existed.
I don't have a dog in this fight any longer - I'm just an observer.
the Ol'Buzzard
I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the same brush. George Carlin I'm just saying the Ol'Buzzard
