Tuesday, April 28, 2015


Taking a crap is probably one of the most Zen like things you can do.  Unless you ruin it by taking a magazine or newspaper with you to read.  It is a time to zone out with nothing to focus on except your own bodily function – no counting breaths, no reciting koans and no chasing the monkey-mind: just sitting quietly and experiencing the moment. 

The Buddha became awakened after seeing a beautiful girl, tasting the refreshing quality of water and eating a bowl of rice.   Buddhist text doesn't say so, but I am sure later that evening he totally zoned out taking the first good crap he had had in many months.  

It is rewarding how simple bodily functions can bring so much contentment if you can stay focused in the moment.  


Perhaps this is more than you would like to know: but sometimes I err by trying to name my craps – usually after a Republican Congressperson.   It takes me out of the moment and is totally unrewarding.   I find the rest of my day lacking in tranquility. 

Like a sexual orgasm, taking a crap is a personal experience, and if you are not focused in that moment you miss out on a great happening that can never be reclaimed. 

the Ol'Buzzard



  1. Now this post was some Mark Twain, award winning, thought provoking shit! I never considered taking a dump to be a form of sitting meditation but once again age and experience speaks! ha ha ha ha You are the Master! I can't wait to see what new cosmic truths will come to you during your next bowel movement! ha ha ha ha ha

  2. my daughter and I poop,,to a rift from High Anxiety..I got it I got it I got it...uhhh no I don't got it..

  3. It's true that zen is everywhere. Your "naming ritual" amused me. Think I'll try it using the names of Canadian politicians, of course. It would be very satisfying to flush Stephen Harper LOL!

  4. That explains the funny noises coming from the bathroom in the morning. My husband is having a crapgasm.


COMMENT: Ben Franklin said, "I imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all doctrines he holds are true, and all he rejects are false."