DEATH AND ETERNITY

A BITE OF REALITY

I am past my sell-by-date.   I am of the age that the reality is I will die within the next ten years – and I will be dead a long time.  

Two days ago, I hit an ice patch with my car and slid into an ice bank, resulting in a tear in the front plastic cowling and a dent in the back door of my RAV-4.  

My wife wasn’t happy, but I refuse to be upset about some damage to the car that is repairable.  Shit happens.  

The snow scene up here in Maine is beautiful.  I have a nice home and a great wife, books to read and cats to keep me company.   This accident will cost me a deductible that I can ill-afford, but in the scheme of things: no big deal.

As far as eternity, that is the con of religions.   Religions promise a get-out-of-death-free card that doesn’t exist:   I will pay you tomorrow  for a hamburger today.

It would be great to think that when I die a biker club of big breasted Valkyrie women would roar down to earth to transport me to  Valhalla; where I could pick out my ride, where there is an open bar with Irish Whiskey and good English beer and bowels of ganja for the sampling, where all the women are beautiful and horny, where all the great bands eventually preform: the Stones, Dr Hook, Bob Seger, The Band…

But there is the same chance of that happening as sitting in some celestial heaven with the man-god Jesus. 

You walk through the cemeteries here in New England and find old tombstones with epitaphs and names like Constance Toothacher and Endeavor Bean; people who lived in Maine over four hundred years ago.   They are not sitting ‘up there in heaven’ or ‘down there in hell.’ They are forgotten and their bones are rotting in the ground like everyone who ever lived before them and everyone who has lived after.  Their dogs died, their cats died, their horse died, their cow died, their children died, they died.  There is life and there is death – full stop. 

We are here for a short while and then we are gone.  I can deal with that.

 If it were true that your life passes in front of your face when you die – mine would be a double feature.   It has been an interesting run.  And every day I have left I intend to live to the fullest.

the Ol’Buzzard 

MINDFULNESS AND MINDLESSNESS

A couple of days ago, when it wasn’t raining and I had no appointments, I took a walk down our road.   When I got to my turnaround spot I realized that I had seen nothing, literally.   Instead of stopping at the two brooks and watching the water and paying attention to the plants and wildlife, I had walked with my monkey mind in charge, having some fanciful conversation with myself and occupying my thoughts with something other than my walk. 

I refocused and enjoyed my walk home.

Mindfulness is easy to deal with once you decide it should become a part of your daily life.

Mind-less-ness, on the other hand, requires a disciplined effort. 

 

This is the scenario of an imaginary person, but some aspects are probably familiar to most of us:

X wakes up in the morning and grabs his/her cell phone and takes it into the bathroom.   While eating breakfast X checks messages and social networks to see what others are doing.   On the way to work X checks and perhaps talks on the cell phone while dealing with traffic.   At work X places the phone within easy reach while dealing with the stresses of work.  On the way home X checks the cell phone while driving through heavy traffic.  At home X watches TV, gets on the computer, checks messages, e-mail and social media until supper time.   

TV, bed, and check the cell phone before going to sleep.  While asleep X’s monkey mind takes over causing restless dreams and restless sleep.

The mind never has time to unplug. 

At some point your mind needs to unplug for a few minutes on a regular basis.   Five minutes of meditation a day can do that.  

Find a quiet, comfortable room away from your cell phone.  Sit upright in a chair with feet planted on the floor; focus on your breathing and finally empty your mind - relax.

In lieu of this: take your rocking chair out on your porch and smoke a joint.

 

Mindlessness takes practice and discipline but the benefits are real

the Ol’Buzzard

THE MEANING OF LIFE 2017

George Mao was a philosophy professor at the University of Maine, and he was miserable.   His wife had left him for a pizza delivery boy, his son wouldn’t talk to him, and students avoided his classes.   He considered his life meaningless and saw sickness and death his future in his old age.

From an academic philosophy magazine, he read of guru in India that was wonderfully wise, with a great many noted people willing to make a difficult pilgrimage just to receive his council. 

George took academic leave and flew to India.  The guru was on the top of an escarpment and the only access was a steep and dangerous trail that led to the top.  

After hours of walking and climbing George found the guru sitting outside of his cave.   George said, ‘Teacher, I am a philosophy professor, I have lived half of my lifetime and I am miserable.   Please tell me why we are here.   What is the meaning of life?’  

The guru answered, ‘The meaning of life is a tea pot.’

George was furious.  He said, ‘I have flown across the ocean, traveled across India and climbed this damn mountain and all you can tell me is the reason we are all here is a tea pot?

The guru thought for a minute, then said, ‘Well, maybe it’s not a tea pot.

George could have saved himself the trip and asked me – I would have told him, it’s the hokey pokey.

the Ol’Buzzard

FEEDING SQUIRRELS

Sometimes in life you just have to learn to go with it – go with the flow.    Rather than fight against the current, oft times it is better to just change your destination and proceed downstream.  

I used to have a couple of small red squirrels that would raid my bird feeders.   Then about two years ago a large grey squirrel showed up – this year there are two grey squirrels.   The two original red squirrels had a litter of babies this summer (I guess you call them a litter):  two little mouse size reds that have no fear of me.  Add to this, four chipmunks and I have a rodent menagerie living in my back yard.

I tried everything to outsmart the squirrels.  I hung the feeders by concertina wire and put up baffles above the feeders, I greased the pole of my ground feeder; but nothing seemed to work. 

 I have finally come to the conclusion that in the nature order of things, in the food chain, squirrels come before birds; so trying to feed birds and not the squirrels is against the natural order. 

My squirrels love black oil sunflower seeds; but now I have another problem.   Bird scavengers are stealing food from my squirrel feeders.

BECOME THE WATER GRASSHOPPER.

the Ol’Buzzard 

ZEN: DRAGGING THE BOAT

Two young men left their village to attend a talk by the Buddha.   It was to be a three day journey so the men left a day early to insure they would arrive in plenty of time to enjoy the preceding. 

 After two days they arrived at a river only to find the bridge had been destroyed.  Knowing they had an extra day they set about constructing a boat from bamboo and reeds.   The next morning they made the crossing and were feeling confident as they still had a day for travel.

 

The oldest man said that it was such a fine boat it would be a shame to leave it, so they each grabbed a gunnel and started down the road.

   

The men arrived in village just as the Buddha finished talking.   They approached the Buddha and told him how disappointed they were to have missed his talk.   The Buddha look at the men and the boat and asked why they dragging a boat.  The men said they had built it to cross the river and that it was such a fine boat they could not leave it.  

The Buddha smiled and walked away.

I sit here in my den/office/man-cave or whatever you want to call this room that all the artifacts of decades of my life are jumbled into and look around at the boat that I have been dragging: books on sky diving (not going to happen,) books on white water canoeing ( I no longer own a canoe,) survival gear, hunting and fishing gear, pictures and artifacts hanging on the walls, three boxes of cassette tapes ( I no longer own a cassette player,) Sherlock Holmes collections and the list could go on.

I have been dragging most of this stuff around with me for decades – some for over fifty years.  

I tend to think of this stuff as defining me; but in truth I was a different person at each time this stuff represents.   However, they bring back pleasant memories.

You can’t stand in the same river twice.

I guess we all drag our boats, and perhaps that is only a bad thing when it prevents us from living in the present or obstructs our future goals.

Hell I don’t know

Just rambling

the Ol’Buzzard

MOREZEN

Buddhism is more than meditating.

Here in the west we hold ideas of how things ought to be and how we ought to live.  We are constantly at war with our environment trying to make everything fit into our desired outcome – and when we fall short, which we most often do, we carry the stress of failed expectations.

We hold a fixed idea of who we are and how we want to be perceived.   But there is no fixed I or Ego because everything changes – new causes produce new effects. 

“One and the same human being is, at various ages, under various circumstances, a totally different human being.

Solzhenitsyn:  The Gulag Archipelago

The Buddha realized that most often people were carrying stress, and that this stress prevented them from appreciating the refreshing taste of cool water – the beauty of a young girl – or the satisfying taste of rice (his awakening.)   

Buddha also realized that the stress is most often self-inflicted.   He addressed this in The Four Noble Truths.

The Four Noble Truths

1.     Duhkha*: Life is often like a wheel out of kilter. We are constantly dissatisfied.    We feel we have to fight for control.   We move from one crisis to the next – reacting – never satisfied with our outcome. 

2.     Our dissatisfaction originates from our own expectations and desires.

3.     By focusing on, and being content in the present, instead of fantasizing on future or the past, we can alleviate much of our dissatisfaction.  

4.    The Eight Fold Path is the Buddha’s teaching – a suggested path toward a fulfilling and contented life.

   

*(Spelled Duhkha in Buddhism Plain and Simple; spelled Dukha in The Essence of Zen; spelled Dukkha in Intro to Buddha – and probably other spellings.   There are four major sects of Buddhism: Theravada, Mahayana, Vajrayana and Zen; this probably creates confusions in spellings and definitions.  It is the concept that is important.)

THE EIGHT FOLD PATH

1.    RIGHT VIEW:  accepting the way your world is, though not necessarily the way you would like it to be.  Understanding that nothing is static and everything is changing. 

2.    RIGHT INTENTION: address each problem in your life with resolve; but always choosing the noble path – you instinctively know what is right and what is wrong: for the good of all – unselfish centered.

3.      RIGHT SPEECH: speak the truth; but never to injure.

4.     RIGHT ACTION: act from a clear mind, not from preconceptions or prejudices.  

5.     RIGHT LIVELYHOOD: we should strive to choose an occupation that benefits others, and one that satisfies our needs; but we should apply ourselves in whatever endeavor we occupy.

6.    RIGHT EFFORT: live in the NOW.

7.    RIGHT MINDFULNESS: conscious of how we are actually engaged in the world from moment to moment.

8.    RIGHT MEDITATION: practice zazen regularly

Notice that the Buddha does not give commandments – there is no ‘thou shall not…’   These are the Buddha’s suggestions – his clarity.

Buddhism is not a belief system.  It is not about accepting beliefs or following rituals.   It is about seeing the world clearly.  

It is said that at his death the Buddha told his followers ‘Look not for refuge to anyone beside yourself.’    

the Ol’Buzzard

A BUZZARD EGG OMELET #30

Taking a crap is probably one of the most Zen like things you can do.  Unless you ruin it by taking a magazine or newspaper with you to read.  It is a time to zone out with nothing to focus on except your own bodily function – no counting breaths, no reciting koans and no chasing the monkey-mind: just sitting quietly and experiencing the moment. 

The Buddha became awakened after seeing a beautiful girl, tasting the refreshing quality of water and eating a bowl of rice.   Buddhist text doesn't say so, but I am sure later that evening he totally zoned out taking the first good crap he had had in many months.  

It is rewarding how simple bodily functions can bring so much contentment if you can stay focused in the moment.  

  

Perhaps this is more than you would like to know: but sometimes I err by trying to name my craps – usually after a Republican Congressperson.   It takes me out of the moment and is totally unrewarding.   I find the rest of my day lacking in tranquility. 

Like a sexual orgasm, taking a crap is a personal experience, and if you are not focused in that moment you miss out on a great happening that can never be reclaimed. 

the Ol'Buzzard

   

INTROSPECTION

Our lives consist of returning serves and mindless self gratification, sometimes spliced with simple blatant mindlessness: sitting in front of a TV or computer.   We spend very little time in reflection; perhaps we unconsciously avoid it. 

With me, introspection – reflection - (Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about?) automatically occurs at the beginning of the third drink – when I am by myself.

For someone prone to depression introspection probably isn't a healthy pursuit, in that depression in itself is an unhealthy state…the sound of one hand clapping. 

However, for me it brings on the realization that I am a self proclaimed intelligent creature accidentally inhabiting a meaningless world.   It is not a bad thing to realize that you – yourself – are not the center of the universe.   That actually you are little more than brief electric pulse existing in a momentary flash in one of a million bubble parallel universes… or simply an evolutionary accident.   

I must say that occasionally I enjoy sinking into this alcohol induced funk.  The only down side is I always have the urge to break out my old pipe and tobacco – I gave up smoking years ago.    How nice it would be to sit in the dark on my front porch, surrounded by the Maine woods, and drink whiskey and smoke my pipe.  

But you see, even though there is no meaning to this world (wars, genocides, governments…a struggle to get by) there are personal pleasures (as brief and passing as they may be) that make me want to stay around as long as possible; so therefore I avoid the pipe and usually content myself with the third drink. 

the Ol’Buzzard  

ZEN OF APATHY

A passenger aircraft shot down in the Ukraine.

There is nothing I can do about it.

800 dead in the 18 day conflict between Israel and Hamas.

There is nothing I can do about it.

Fighting continues in Iraq and Pakistan.

There is nothing I can do about it.

Fighting in Syria, atrocities in Africa.

There is nothing I can do about it.

Russia, Cuba, China;

I am powerless.

A dysfunctional U.S. Congress

Prisoners inhumanely put to death in Oklahoma, Ohio and Arizona.

Obama Care is being challenged in court.

Bigotry, Racism, Sexism, Homophobia…

I vote but my vote is canceled by the Tea Party.

Beyond  my control.

In my mid-seventies, my days are limited, the grim reaper rides bitch on my bike.

It is what it is.

Today I am going to prepare the west side of my house for painting.    I painted the front (south side) first of the week.   I have one more cord of wood to order and stack for winter fuel; and I plan to replace the front storm door before winter sets in.   I haven’t meditated in a long time.   I need to take a few minutes this morning for Zen time.  It is suppose to be a beautiful day today – sunny with temps in the low seventies. 

Change what you can and accept what you can’t change: live in the moment: appreciate this day.

The Ol’Buzzard

A BUZZARD EGG OMELET #25

“The enemy (crisis) of the moment always represented absolute evil.”

1984 by George Orwell

The new crisis of the day is the health care roll-out.   Everyone’s bowels are in an uproar: both Democrats and Republicans.  But, just like the government shutdown, a few weeks (or months) from now the roll-out debacle will be old news and not worth a comment even by late night comedians. 

Of the thirty five percent of the nation that bother to vote: fifty percent of the voters are Democrats; twenty-two percent of the voters are moderate Republicans; and twenty-eight percent of the voters are evangelical Christian retards.  The politicians we have elected are a mirror image of the voters and will again create the next government debacle that will keep us awake at night and our blood pressures elevated – if we allow it.  

A little Buddhist perspective: change the things that are in your power to change - accept the things you can not change – and move on.   We would be much happier if we turned off the news and were politically ignorant.  Of course, in this day of technology that is almost impossible.

AWAY FROM POLITICS:

I just picked up a new book A Freudian Slip Is When You Say One Thing But Mean Your Mother, by Gary Blake.   

If you enjoy PUNS – often noted as the lowest form of humor – I suggest you can o-pun this book to any page and find a phrase you wish you had coined first.    Of course if you are Rand Paul it won’t matter: you will use it anyway and claim it as yours. 

the Ol’Buzzard