Monday, June 25, 2018

SHOVELING HORSE SHIT






The story of Noah’s Ark is so ridiculous that it’s laughable; and yet people attend the movie, visit the Ark reproduction in Kentucky and have searched the world for the Ark's remains.



Many adults believe, five thousand years ago, a six-hundred-year-old man sailed on a worldwide flood for one year with his three sons, their wives and two of every animal and bird in the world. 







Let’s deal with strictly mammals.   There are approximately 10,000 mammal species on the earth today, and 5,000 bird species.    Five thousand years ago without the pressure of human over population the numbers had to be at least the same. 


Two of every animal: elephants, rhinos, hippopotamus, bison, water buffalo, horse, donkeys, giraffe, kudus, wilder beast, zebra, elk, moose, black bear, grizzly bears, polar bears, sloth bears, lions, tigers, puma, leopards, jaguars, bobcats, lynx, badgers, wolverines, monkeys, orangutans, gorillas, baboons, camels, rats, mice, voles, llama, kangaroos, duckbill platypus, Tasmanian devils, koala, pander bear and thousands more...


Can you visualize the amount of plant food it would take to just feed the herbivores?  And the amount of meat for the carnivores?   And the bird food?


And then there is the shit.    Can you imagine 10,000 birds sitting on top of the ark – you couldn’t wade through the guano on deck.   I have shoveled horse shit in a barn and I can’ imagine shoveling the shit from 2 elephants, 2 rhinos, 2 hippopotamus, buffalo, deer, horses, zebra, camels, donkeys…  and only eight people aboard the feed the animals and shovel shit!


Perhaps you could have a litter box for the lions and tigers and other cats.




And then there is the dispersion of the animals after the flood: kangaroos back to Australia, buffalo to North America, penguins to Antarctica… 







I am sure that fundamentalist Christians can argue their point with scripture verse; but you have to shut down your brain to actually believe in the story of Noah’s Ark. 

the Ol’Buzzard








5 comments:

  1. But..but...It must be true, it's in the bible..maybe the Koran...I'm sure I read about it in "MAD MAGAZINE"....
    Upriverdavid

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  2. There aren't enough cubits in size for a boat to hold that much stuff. What do the predators eat? Plus you have an insurmountably small gene pool with only one male and female of each species. On the other hand I would love to have a 500 pound tiger purring in my lap.

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  3. The story of the flood and the ark is probably the biggest whopper, but it is but one of many whoppers connected with the Bible. And I'm not talking burgers here.

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  4. My elderly cousin would ask the Jehovah's a question about Noah's ark. "Where did all that water come from and where did it go?"

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COMMENT: Ben Franklin said, "I imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all doctrines he holds are true, and all he rejects are false."