In the Native American
communities elders are venerated. They
are looked up to as being wise because of their years.
I have always disagreed with
this premise; believing that if you were stupid when you were young and stupid
when you were middle age you are probably a stupid old person.
I am the absolute proof of
the proposition. You would think after
seventy plus years I would have learned from my mistakes.
During my lifetime I have
sheered bolts in oil pans, engine heads, carburetors, mufflers, and plumbing
fixtures, and just about everything that has threads.
Last year I decided to set
the valves in my motorcycle. My wife
suggested I take it to the dealership and have it done. I informed her that I had set the valves and
timing in bunches of bikes and I was not going to pay someone to do what I was
capable of doing.
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| The black one is mine. My wife in the jean jacket talking to the secretary of United Bikers of Maine |
The job turned out to be
bigger than I thought: I had to remove the seats, the tank some of the wiring
and vacuum hoses just to get access to the heads. I soldiered on removing the heads from a
space barely big enough to admit a wrench.
I set the valves and remounted the heads; but on my last head bolt I
gave it just one more turn.
Yeah – I sheered off the bolt
in the jug. I ended up renting a trailer
and transporting the bike forty miles to a dealer where they were able to
remove the bolt, reset the timing and put the bike back together. It was a hundred dollar fiasco, not counting
the rental of the trailer.
Today I decided to change the
oil in the bike. My wife suggested I
take it down to the local bike shop and have it done. But, I am not going to pay someone to do
what I can do.
The drain plug is located at
a position that you have to lift the front end just to get a wrench on the
bolt. After cursing Honda engineers I got
the front end elevated on some 8x8 lumber and was able to drain the oil and
change the filter. I gave the drain plug
just one more snug turn and felt it give…fearing I may have stripped the threads
in the oil pan I backed it off and snugged it just close, checking there were
no oil leaks. Needing to check the oil
level in the rear differential (the bike is direct drive) I unscrewed the nut –
the oil was fine – and I replaced the filler bolt. Just one more twist to make sure it is tight…
and then swore: Shit, Fire and Molasses – God Damn Flatheaded Bastard…
The new bolt is costing me
$25.00 with the O-ring, plus $10.00 shipping.
Provided there are no leaks
this season; next year I will have the local bike shop change the oil and act
surprised when they have to retap the threads on the oil pan.
Meanwhile, I have found that
the brake light switch on the foot brake is not working and needs
replacing. And I am not going to pay
someone to do what I can easily do.
the Ol’Buzzard
You need to re-calibrate your elbow so it clicks at the proper torque!!
ReplyDeleteI am not mechanically able to do shit! I have the stuff done; read a book while some knuckle-buster is having at it, and then pay them. I don't even wash the KIA - use a car wash instead!
ReplyDeleteThanks for a great post!
Ron
Story of my life, too, but in Home Improvement. 30 minute job takes two days.
ReplyDelete