CANADA

I love Canada.   I spent two years in Newfoundland back when Joey Smallwood was Premier.  I have traveled through every Province.  I have worked with Canadian Forces and been through their Winter Bush Survival School.

But; Canadian bacon  is not BACON!

The Ol'Buzzard

BACON, BACON, BACON, BACON, BACON, BACON. BACON. BACON

BACON, BACON: HOW DO I LOVE THEE.  LET ME COUNT THE WAYS.

1.    Served with eggs and grits

2.    On top of buttered toast

3.    With pancakes and jam

4.    Add to flavor beans

5.    Use the grease when frying

6.    Grease sopped up with toast

7.    Sprinkled on your salad

8.    Eat instead of salad

9.    Good for fishing bait (also attracts log head turtles and alligators)

10.                       Used for baiting bear

11.                       An aphrodisiac for men

12.                       Add to any sandwich

13.                       White bread mayonnaise and bacon

14.                       Crumbled on baked fish

15.                       The base of good corn chowder

16.                       Eaten before sex

17.                       Eaten after sex

18.                       Bacon grease and sex (use your imagination)

19.                       Hell, I have just made a transition from one favorite food to the next: I don’t think I can continue.

Here is a recipe from a nineteen century cook book for corn chowder.  I have cooked this on the back of a woodstove and it is delicious.

Recipe from the Farmers Cottage at the Norland's Living History museum in Livermore, Maine

·       One large onion diced

·       Six thick pieces of bacon cubed (slab bacon)

·       2 cups of diced potatoes

·       1 tsp of salt (I omitted the salt.)

·       Two cups of fresh corn

·       Two cups of boiling water

·       Two cups of milk

·       Pepper to taste

Fry the bacon and sauté the onions until done.   Add water and potatoes and salt

When potatoes are tender add corn and milk.   Bring just to a scalding point – do not boil

Serve hot with corn bread.

YUM YUM!

OLD TIME SOUTHERN CORNBREAD

Here is my recipe for southern cornbread.  In the deep south in the 40’s and 50’s most people didn’t add sugar to their cornbread.  

2 cups of yellow cornmeal

2 cup of white flower

2 tsp of salt

2 tsp of baking powder

1 tsp of baking soda

¼ cup of lard

2 eggs

2 cups of milk

Combine milk, eggs and lard.  Stir in other ingredients - mixing only until moist. Bake in a large greased pan at 400 degrees until brown – about thirty minutes.  Slather with real butter and eat hot. 

the Ol’Buzzard

A BUZZARD EGG OMELET #8

AN ATTEMPT AT POETRY - OF SORTS

There ain’t no bacon in heaven

Cause God won’t let’ye eat pigs

You can’ eat ham or sausage

So what-d-u have with your eggs?

But wait:

You can’t eat eggs in heaven

Cause that’s a chicken’s abortion you-see

No over-easy eggs or omelets

So that ain’t heaven to me.

I don’t want milk and honey

I don’t want tofu and sprouts

If that’s all you eat in heaven

You’re welcome to leave me out

Just give-me pickled eggs and slim jims

And a bottle of bourbon that free

And a willing girl with big tits

And that’ll be heaven for me. 

 the Ol'Buzzard