INTELLIGENT DESIGN

My wife and I are somewhat reclusive.   As such, our opinions on matters are viewed through our personal prism: our backgrounds, our experiences and our personal prejudices. 

 

But I must admit I was shocked, when I ran across an educated man – a medical doctor – that espouses a belief in intelligent design.

    

Of all people in the world you would think a medical doctor could see the glaring deficiency in believing an infallible architect deity would be responsible for the design of the female body. 

Females are the ultimate beauty.    Their features, their movements and their aura are intoxicating.    But after that the design falters.  

What kind of an incompetent deity could design the outer structure so perfectly, then screw up so badly in the infrastructure?   You would have to believe this magical designer started putting the female together, and then lost interest before the job was completed.

  

The problems begin in young womanhood: one week out of every month the body has to reboots: often beginning with weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, and ending with a bio-hazardous discharge resulting in abdominal pain, general discomfort and breast tenderness.  Women regularly suffer from vaginal infections, urinary track infections and uteri infections.  Twenty percent of all women will require a hysterectomy before age forty.  Then there is the physical distortion of pregnancy, the pain, the anxiety, and actual physical damage from giving birth.   As if that is not enough, there is menopause to look forward to: hot flashes, night sweats, abdominal pain…

If you bought an automobile that had that many problems, you would return it for a refund claiming the lemon law. 

Though I do not believe in an infallible creator, I do believe in magic; and women are the personification of magic.   There are magical secrets passed down through virgin, mother and crone that can beguile males of the species.   The resilience of women facing physical difficulties as they age, results in matriarchs that are the strength of the family unit.

I absolutely adore my wife.  To me she is the most beautiful creature that ever walked this earth; but I feel sorry for her for a physical design that often results in her pain and discomfort. When I go with her into doctor’s offices, the waiting rooms are full of women who would attest, that if their bodies are the result of intelligent design, then the standard for intelligence must be extremely low. 

the Ol'Buzzard

THE HOLY BIBLE – OL’BUZZARD VERSION

 GENESIS: OR HOW IT CAME ABOUT THAT GOD CREATED THE WORLD

WARNING – FOR ADULTS ONLY:

This story contains some of the Adult Themes and language used by President Donald Trump.

God was a young god.  Sometimes He would ask his Father where He came from, but his Father would tell Him to shut up and eat His honey.   His father and Mother were always locking themselves in their celestial bedroom with other Gods and Goddesses, drinking wine and make strange noises - and they wouldn’t let him in.  

When God would complain to his Mother, she would always tell him to go play.   God sulk in the corner for eons.   When his Father asked Him what was wrong, God told his Father that all the other children of Gods had realms to play in, but He didn’t have one.   Finally, to shut him up, his Father showed Him a small planet in a distance solar system and told Him He could have that planet – He could be God of that planet, if He would go away and leave the adults alone while they partied. 

God had attend the Wharton School of Creation and now his father had given Him his own planet, so he felt quite confident as a Majestic Deity . 

In the beginning the earth was without form and void so He put on some dinosaurs, but soon got tired of watching the dinosaurs so he killed them all.

He made lions; but the lions were always trying to eat each other, so He made sheep and zebras for the lions to eat.    The sheep and zebras also were hungry, but God was tired.    He said, ‘fuck-it let them eat grass.’

God thought to Himself, I should have something that can worship me.  Here I am the God of this planet and these dumb animals don’t even know it.

He decided to make an animal that looked like himself.    He built a beautiful garden with six apple trees and put a man in it.   But the man was always masturbating or else trying to mount the sheep, so God made a woman with the same anatomy as His mother, so that the man would have someone to have sex with, and leave the sheep alone. 

God would hide in the tree and watch the man and the woman fornicate, and that was cool; but the humans He had created were so engrossed with each other, they were not paying attention to him. 

So, God decided He would make some laws that His humans would have to obey; that way the humans would have to recognize Him as their Lord and Master.  

He brought the two people in front of him and told them they could eat the fruit from the other five scrawny apple trees, but they were not allowed to eat the apples from this best tree. 

 ‘This is to let you know who is the boss and that you should worship me” God said.   

The man didn’t care which tree he ate from as long as Eve would put out.   But soon after God’s pronouncement, Eve had PMS.    She told Adam that God was and narcissistic idiot and a voyeur that was always trying to grab her by her pussy.   She said there was no reason for them not to have the best apples.    She told Adam he was cut-off until he grew a pair, stood up to God, and brought her the best fruit. 

Adam thought about it: Obey God and have no sex, or get her the damn apple and get laid.   The choice was easy. 

When Adam disobeyed God and brought Eve the best apple, God threw a temper tantrum and ran the humans out of the orchard.

After that Eve got pregnant, then pregnant again.   After a lot of incest there were the Jewish people in the land of Egypt.  

To be continued.   Next the tale of Moses.

ASK A JEW ABOUT THE OLE TESTAMENT

YOU MIGHT ASK A JEW ABOUT  CHRISTIAN  FUNDAMENTALIST BELIEF IN THE OLD TESTAMENT.   HE CAN GIVE YOU AN ANSWER; BUT REMEMBER - IN THE END,  HIS ANSWER WILL STILL BE STEEPED IN RELIGIOUS BULLSHIT. 

I just posted about a letter-to-the-editor I wrote on religion.    It brought this clip to mind.  







The Bible was written as a fable to control people; a story with a moral, for a people who lived in the desert and for whom a wheelbarrow was cutting edge technology.   That there are people today that take it literally is fucking nuts.   Like Black, I can't be gracious. 

Science facts and religion are not compatable.  Either you live in a world of makebelileve, or you live in the real world.
the Ol'Buzzard

THE STATE OF THE UNION

Forget about Congressional inaction, the conservative court, job growth, a budget in the trillions, gun control, health care and the minimum wage; and let’s look at the real issue that defines us and our time. 

We are fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan, involved in a religious war in Iraq, fighting ISIS in Syria, Libya is in civil war; there is Boko Haram in Africa, Russia is posturing in the Middle east and the Ukraine, North Korea is claiming a hydrogen bomb. 

We have drive-by shootings in the big cities, police assassinating black people on a regular basis, self-radicalized Religious extremist conducting attacks not only in this country but around the world, nut cases, with guns that are too readily available, killing children in schools; and we have heavily armed civilians playing militia, fantasizing some make believe scenario, and inciting sedition.

In other words, the world is going to shit in a hand basket.

It is fairly easy to pinpoint the problem.   All the Judeo-Christian religions identify it in their creation myths:

In the beginning there was first man and woman.

The woman gave birth to two male children.

One of the males murdered the other sibling.

That is who we are.   A violent and destructive species.   It is in our DNA.  

The only thing that has prevented our extinction is the unavailability of weapons of mass destruction to the general male population.   As our technology advances that shortage is bound to be supplied in the not too distant future. 

In other words, the State of the Union, the State of the World is”

Look at our history.   We are who we are.   We’re fucked.

Have a good day

the Ol’Buzzard

ADAM AND EVE- NOT ADAM AND STEVE. REALLY?

Today on my way back from the veterinary after an appointment for our cat, I was behind a truck with a sticker in the back window proclaiming Adam and Eve – Not Adam and Steve. 

That is self-centered ignorance on so many different levels, not the least of which is, that decisions people make in their personal life that don’t affect you are really none of your business; but also, Adam and Eve – Really?

If you want to go back to the original mother of the human race it would be more appropriate to name Lucy than Eve.  Our original mother was more than likely a young female Australopithecus africanus walking the savanna of central Africa with a small harry bipedal baby suckling at her breast

 – not a beautiful pale white naked female talking to a snake under an apple tree in a make believe garden.

Sometimes it is necessary for a whole generation of self-appointed, ignorant, holier than thou bigots to die out before humanity can advance.

the Ol’Buzzard

ADAM AND EVE

It is pretty obvious to anyone reading my blog that, like Karl Marx, I consider religions as the Opium of the Masses.

Religion and intellect have knocked heads since the true founding of the Catholic Church at the Council of Nicea held around 350 AD.   From the earliest time through the Dark Ages The Church did everything in its power to discredit and destroy all forms of enlightenment from science to philosophy to mathematics.  

The massive body of knowledge that germinated in early Greece was considered heresy, and those intrepid enough to pursue enlightenment were put to death by The Church. 

Throughout the Dark Ages all accepted truths had to be based on the Bible as the only true knowledge.   And even today, great numbers of our population choose ignorance over knowledge, and insist on a literal interpretation of the Bible.

The Bible, a loose woven myth disguised as history, begins its story with Adam and Eve. 

Last night, as I lay awake in bed, as I often do, I considered the claim that through DNA we can trace the human race back to one woman somewhere is Africa – and African Eve.

 I don’t dispute that, but the more I considered this claim the more it seemed likely to me that there has to be more than one Eve.  

Now, I know that no one wants to read pages correlating math and history; and even though I spent the morning researching and correlating I won’t bore you with the minutiae. 

But, to give an overview I must start out with an explanation of exponential counting: you have two parents; four grandparents; eight great grandparents; sixteen great-great grandparents – the numbers double from each preceding generation.  

   

If you go back 20 generations (rounding off some numbers for ease of counting) you are directly kin to one million great-great… grandparents.   If you go back thirty generations you would be equally kin to one billion ancestors.

Now the trick is to track the population of the earth and determine the date when you are kin to everyone on earth. 

Using 20 years as the approximate length of a generation I determined that after 29 generations (the first generation is a zero) or 560 years - around the year 1460 -  our ancestors numbered 500 million: the same as the entire population of the earth in at that time.

If we pick any female in 1460 we have to consider her as an EVE for our generation.

Now, selecting that female from 1460 and counting her ancestors back into time we find that around the year 840 she is kin to 250 million ancestors: about the same number as the population of the earth in that year.   Therefore any female from the year of 840 can be considered and the second Eve.   

The population stabilizes to 200 million around the year zero; and the third Eve appears about 220 BC.      After this, approximately every 500 years we have a new Eve. 

Human population slowly decreases, until around 8,000 BC when we have an earth population of 5 million, dropping to 3 million about 10,000 BC.

If we continue backwards, somewhere between three and four million years ago the original Eve of our species walked across the savannas of Africa.  This is our African Eve.  

It is quite possible, if not probable, that someone will shoot holes all through this hypothesis; but that is the way science works.   

My wife gave me five books for Solstice and I probably could have better spent this time reading.

the Ol’Buzzard

A world clock worth checking out - there are many more.

O'B