A WRINKLE IN TIME

Einstein’s calculations show time duration varying according to the speed of an object.  He also proposes that space-time can be bent in reaction to the gravitational pull of planets and stars.

Neil deGrasse Tyson simplifies time as a fourth dimension:  If you meet a friend on the corner of Front and Main you are at a two dimensional address; if you meet the friend on the fifth floor of a building on Front and Main you are at a three dimensional address; if you meet your friend on the fifth floor of a building at Front and Main at two-o-clock you have now entered a fourth dimensional address.

It has often been the belief in many cultures that there are people who can manipulate time.   During the sixteenth-century time manipulation was one of the charges levied against women accused of witchcraft.  Supposedly, a woman could leave her bed at midnight for an all-night romp with Satan and his minions and be back in bed with her husband at one minute after midnight. 

Twenty-two years in the military has made me a time person.  To me time is fixed, I adjust my actions within the confines of time.    If I have an appointment I will get up at a certain time, allow myself a certain amount of time for a shower – to get dress – breakfast, I will leave the house at a defined time and arrive at my appointment fifteen minutes early. 

My wife is never concerned with time; she seems to bends time to conform to her actions.  She never refers to a watch or clock.   If she has an appointment at ten-o-clock she will get up when she is ready, feed the cats, do any number of things, spend time on her exercise bike, make the bed, get out her clothes, leisurely have breakfast, spend up to an hour showering and doing the other mysterious things women do in their bathroom, walk out dressed, put on her jacket, get in the car and drive to her appointment and arrive at exactly ten-o-clock. 

This use to drive me crazy.  If I tried to remind her of the time of her appointment, or ask her ‘Do you know what time it is?’  I would be told in no uncertain terms to fuck off.  

I have long since concluded that my wife is a witch, and one of her many attributes is not being constrained by time.  

 I am sure she considers me some sub-creature she has to put up with; ruled by my most base instincts, controlled by conventional limits of time and space.

But somehow, we are compatible.

the Ol’Buzzard