Saturday, March 14, 2020

THE PRESIDENTIAL GIRDLE










TRUMP WITHOUT HIS SPANKS





TRUMP WITH HIS SPANKS


No wonder when we see him walking to and from the helicopter he looks like he has a stick up his ass.   Perhaps that is why he talks so irrationally: he is not getting enough oxygen to his brain.

Just saying
the Ol'Buzzard



Thursday, March 12, 2020

WOMEN WITH HAIR UNDER THEIR ARMS






I don’t care much for impromptu jazz.   Artist get together and run riffs and scales in combination.   They call it a song, but you can’t hum it.

I like jazz that can be reproduced.   Music that has a melody you can hum, or a song that runs through your mind; or in worst case scenario, where I’m concerned, sing. 

I like New Orleans style Jazz.

If you haven’t heard the group Tuba Skinny you should check them out on You Tube.  

It seems strange this day and age, when young women want everything shaved, to see women with hair under their arms.   Brings back memories of women in the 1960’s.

the Ol’Buzzard
















O'B



Wednesday, March 11, 2020

TRUMP IS A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE








Tax  payers have paid $152 Million for Trump’s golf trips over the past three years.   This makes him the tenth highest paid athlete in the United States

Top 10 Highest Paid Male Athletes In 2019
1.    Kobe Bryant ($50 Million)
2.    Donald Trump (50.6 Million)
3.    Tiger Woods ($50.6 Million)
4.    Phil Mickelson ($50.8 Million)
5.    Kevin Durant ($54.1 Million)
6.    Lebron James ($64Million)
7.    Roger Federer ($67 Million)
8.    Lionel Messi ($73.8 Million)
9.    Cristiano Ronaldo ($79.6 Million)
10.            Manny Pacquiao ($160 Million)
11.            Floyd Mayweather Jr. ($300 Million)

 the Ol'Buzzard

Friday, March 6, 2020

THE WORD OF GOD









George is a good Christian.

One night while George is saying his prayers, he hears a voice, “George, close out your 401-K and draw all your money out of the bank.”

At first George ignores the voice; but every night it is the same, “George, close out your 401-K and draw all your money out of the bank.”

George finally accepts it is a message from God.   The next day he closes out his savings and draws out all the money in his bank account.

That night George again hears the voice, “George, go to Las Vegas.”

George asks why, but the voice repeats “George, go to Las Vegas.”

George knows that God has a purpose for him, so next morning he flies to Las Vegas.

That night in the motel the voice speaks to him again.  “George, go to the casino, and at the blackjack table put all your money on one hand.”

At the casino George obeys God and puts his entire savings on one hand at blackjack.  

The dealer deals George eighteen – the dealer has six showing.

“George take a card.” The voice says

What?  The dealer has…

“Take a card!”

George says, “Hit me.”

The dealer deals George and ace.  George breaths easy.

“George, Take another card.” 

“What?”

“TAKE ANOTHER CARD!”

George asks for another card.   It is an ace.
 
“George, take another card!”  the voice commands.

I have twenty, George shouts.

TAKE ANOTHER CARD!, Booms the voice in George’s head.

“Hit me!” George says.   He gets another ace.  Twenty-one.

And the voice says, “Un-fucking-believable!”

 








BAD JOKES
the Ol'Buzzard






A NEW LOW IN THE AMERICAN DIET.








The New England Journal of Medicine forecast that 50% of Americans will be obese by 2030. 

It is nice to know that KFC is doing its part.







KFC Fried Chicken Donut Sandwich.

the Ol'Buzzard

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

WHY I AM VOTING FOR THE OLD JEW IN THE WHITE HOUSE



BIDEN OR BERNIE?



1.    Bernie has massive crowds at his rallies.
2.    The status-quo center of the Democrat party is lining up behind Biden.
3.    Bernie’s policies are far left liberal and I agree with most of them.
4.    Biden is a safe vote who is liked through the rust belt states.
5.    Sometimes Bernie seems over the top.
6.    Biden often seems to have senior moments – off his game.

The question is: who can beat Trump.   My wife and I go back and forth deciding who we should cast our vote for in today’s primary (Super Tuesday.)   We have even considered flipping a coin in the parking lot of the voting precinct. 

BUT

I am sick and tired of seeing Billy Graham, and now Franklin Graham and other fundamentalist preachers show up at the White House to prey with newly elected Presidents.   They all have the agenda of moving the country toward a Christian theocracy.     

I would love to see an old Jew in the White House, and bring back the separation of church and state.   So, I am voting for Bernie.   
the Ol’Buzzard

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

CORONA VIRUS PANDEMIC?





President Trump is telling us that we do not have to worry about the corona virus, because it will all go away in April when the warm weather arrives.   The CDC is trying to put a positive spin on their readiness; but, as usual, the facts do not match the reports  coming from the White House.








We will see how this virus evolves; and if it all goes to hell, it will be the result of an unqualified President dismantling the Center for Disease Control's pandemic response protocol. 
















Hang tight
the Ol'Buzzard