THE WORD OF GOD

George is a good Christian.

One night while George is saying his prayers, he hears a voice, “George, close out your 401-K and draw all your money out of the bank.”

At first George ignores the voice; but every night it is the same, “George, close out your 401-K and draw all your money out of the bank.”

George finally accepts it is a message from God.   The next day he closes out his savings and draws out all the money in his bank account.

That night George again hears the voice, “George, go to Las Vegas.”

George asks why, but the voice repeats “George, go to Las Vegas.”

George knows that God has a purpose for him, so next morning he flies to Las Vegas.

That night in the motel the voice speaks to him again.  “George, go to the casino, and at the blackjack table put all your money on one hand.”

At the casino George obeys God and puts his entire savings on one hand at blackjack.  

The dealer deals George eighteen – the dealer has six showing.

“George take a card.” The voice says

What?  The dealer has…

“Take a card!”

George says, “Hit me.”

The dealer deals George and ace.  George breaths easy.

“George, Take another card.” 

“What?”

“TAKE ANOTHER CARD!”

George asks for another card.   It is an ace.
 

“George, take another card!”  the voice commands.

I have twenty, George shouts.

TAKE ANOTHER CARD!, Booms the voice in George’s head.

“Hit me!” George says.   He gets another ace.  Twenty-one.

And the voice says, “Un-fucking-believable!”

 

BAD JOKES
the Ol'Buzzard

GARRISON KEILLOR OF PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION WAS FIRED FROM MINNESOTA PUBLIC RADIO

The past coming back to haunt you....

Garrison Keillor of Prairie Home Companion was fired from Minnesota Public Radio on allegations of improper behavior.   MPR has severed all ties with Keillor and will rename The Prairie Home Companion, which is now hosted by a different MC.

An excerpt from Huffington Post quotes Keillor:
‘in an email to MPR’s news boss Wednesday afternoon, Keillor wrote “I think the country is in the grip of a mania – the whole Franken business is an absurdity – and I wish someone [would] resist it, but I expect MPR to look out for itself, and meanwhile I feel awfully lucky to have hung on for so long.”

There needs to be some perspective, because at some point in our lives all men are guilty; except Jesus and Gay Guys - which is probably the same category.

Setting aside the ilk of Roy Moore; there was a time when the tolerated sexual misconduct of men toward women was overlooked, and this should be brought to light.   This behavior is something that should stop and end here.    But it bothers me that a man who made advances toward a woman or made an inappropriate comment in the past should be painted with the same brush as Roy Moore, should lose his job, his reputation, traumatize his family, and place the stigma of his actions on his wife and children to carry into public and into the future. 

This is a definitive moment in time - a change in culture; but we need to move through it without a mania for revenge.   

I'm fucking old

and I am looking at this through an alpha male's eyes

Sorry

the Ol'Buzzard

DEDUCTIVE REASONING USING A FALSE PREMISE

An old cowboy is sitting at a bar and a young woman sits next to him.   The woman asks, “Are you a real cowboy?”

The old man replies, “I have spent my whole life working on a ranch punching cattle, mending fences and breaking horses.  I guess that makes me a real cowboy.

The young woman tells him, “I'm a lesbian.   The first thing I think of in the morning is women, when I take a shower I am thinking about women, when I watch TV I am always fantasizing about the women.  Women are on my mind all the time.

 

Sometime later a young man takes a seat next to the old cowboy. 

“Are you a real cowboy?” the young man asks.

The old man answers, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian. 

Bad jokes - I love um

the Ol'Buzzard 

A LITTLE HUMOR FOR DIFFICULT TIMES

Enjoy
the Ol'Buzzard