I am use to squirrels stealing from my bird feeders. As a matter of fact, I have one feeder on a pole that I make easy access for the squirrels. Animals have to eat and they forage according to their nature. But, lately something has been pulling down my feeders and to prevent this I wired my hanging feeders to the trees with coat hangers. Last night some monster ripped down one of my feeders and carried it off. I have searched the surrounding woods and so far have not found it. I looked for tracks: a bear - big raccoon - do zombies eat sunflower seeds? Thinking about my last post: this is Stephen King's Maine... Maybe I don't want to know. the Ol'Buzzard
Before we were married my wife and I had sex every chance and every where. We christened mini-cars, vans, trucks, teepees, tents, motels, and even a church. Winter, spring, summer, fall – if we were indoors or outdoors it didn’t matter. If we were alone and the opportunity presented itself we were ready.
Now don’t get me wrong – we still have great sex; but standing knee deep in snow leaning against a tree – it’s not going to happen again.
Men’s and women’s libidos are different. As women pass child bearing age their interest in sex decreases. They still can have a great time in bed; but it is just not on their minds all the time.
Men on the other hand are ready 24/7 – regardless of age. Some men who have medical problems or are married to someone who is less than attractive may need pharmaceutical help – but on the whole men are ready. My wife is beautiful, sexy and feminine. She can walk into the house on a cold morning with her nipples showing beneath her blouse and I am ready to jump her bones on the living room floor – wishful thinking. Just waking up next to her in the mornings, or the sight of her in something skimpy gets my motor running. However, when I think about it from a woman’s point of view, I can understand their dilemma. Let’s face it: men aren’t pretty naked. I work out at the gym, and sometimes shower there. After seeing men’s hairy asses, pot bellies and hanging junk I can truthfully say that if I was a woman I would be a lesbian. Again, I can’t speak for women; but I think Wanda Sykes probably has it nailed. Check out the her Link:
Wands Sykes - The Dick is Dead We men don’t need a little blue pill to keep us erect for four hours. What we would like to see is a little purple pill with a warning: Women – If you take this pill and find you have an uncontrollable, wild desire to have vigorous, passionate sex for more that four hours at a time: see a doctor immediately.
My wife and I were watching LONGMIRE, the sheriff of Absaroka County, Wyoming; a character created by Craig Johnson and now a new series on A&E TV. During a commercial I commented that considering that there was at least one violent murder in this small rural county every week - why the hell would anyone want to live there? My wife laughed and pointed out that we live in Maine and in Jessica Fletcher’s Cabot Cove there were up to two or more murders every week day; and that Cabot Cove would have to be the murder capital of the world – per capita – according to Murder She Wrote. The only reason that there is still people left in Cabot Cove is that clam diggers and lobster fishermen must breed like rabbits. And of course she is right. And then there is Stephen King.
Thanks to Stephen King, if you traveled through Chamberlain, Maine near Lisbon you might run into Carrie White; who covered in pig’s blood could wreak unbelievable mayhem on you.
North of Brunswick, at Salem’s Lot, you could find yourself in the scariest vampire story ever written (If you sat through movie version I feel sorry for you.) Then near Bangor, in the town of Derry, you could happen on a clown that lives in the sewer - It is not a nice place to visit.
In Haven, a town of less than five thousand, supernatural deaths are as normal as a trip to Wal-Mart; and you might come down with the Tommyknockers’ disease that is caused by an alien space craft. Let’s not forget the alien invasion in the great north woods near Millinocket where your only protection will be a Dream Catcher. And, take this warning: whatever you do, don’t get into a red and white Plymouth Fury called Christine.
Even a woods vacation isn’t safe: for in the unincorporated township TR-90 you might find a Bag of Bones and the ghost of a blues singer haunting your cabin. In western Maine, near where I live, you definitely don’t want to play sex games with your husband and allow him to hand cuff you, necked, to a bed in a rural cabin on a remote lake in late Fall of the year - for he might drop dead on the floor next to you and leave you in a real fix, as happened in Gerald’s Game.
Whatever your plans are please stay away from Castle Rock, near Freeport, when you are visiting L.L. Beans, for you never know if you will run into a rabid Saint Bernard named Cujo, or feel the need to buy some Needful Things at the local antique store – a real mistake.
This is only a small smattering of the danger of vacationing in Stephen King’s Maine. So, out-of-staters BEWARE! We have every hazzard up here except zombies...Oops!
if you go to Bangor stay away from the Pet Cemetary.
The latest scientific findings from the Republican Party: Abortion should be illegal because a fetus has feelings. Proof that a fetus has feelings is that male fetus masturbates in-uteri.
You could never make this stuff up. You have to pass a test to be a teacher; but any fool can become a Congressman – and is.
A few days ago on Morning Joe on MSNBC one of the guest said that he set up a golf date with a friend on G-Mail and the next day he got advertisments in his e-mail for golf clubs.
How does it feel to be a zombie in love? Do I eat her brain or make love to her? The life of a zombie with sensitive feelings is not all cannibalism and a walk in the park. After all zombies have feelings too.
Or so Isaac Marion would have us believe in his first novel Warm Bodies. The title caught my eye last week at the local library and so I brought it home and placed it by my bed. Last night I picked it up and read the first half. It is not Anna Karenina or Doctor Zhivago but it is worth a read. The Ol’Buzzard
We have the NEW revelation that the government is collecting and sifting through all of our information. Of course, everyone who can think beyond gays, God, guns and people like us already new this.
Then we have the security leaks/ whistle blowers that further divide
the inmates. Are they heros or a traitors?
So, to boil this down, there was a leak of highly classified information on a program that everybody already knew, or suspected, existed since George W’s Patriot Act was passed in Congress. Now here’s my conundrum: When I was in the military I had a Top Secret clearance, and I knew that divulging any information that I had access to would be considered traitorous, and result in serious prosecution and prison time – and during war time the death penalty was a possibility. I took the clearance and the classified information extremely serious and would have protected it with my life. Therefore I have zero tolerance for anyone with a security clearance divulging classified information.
I also feel that military personnel with classified clearances have to be held to a higher standard. BUT Having said this, I also feel that politicians who pull the strings and involve us in wars are always pursuing covert agendas, and are not above lying about, and manipulating information to suite their own purposes. They are able to hide their nefarious intentions in the secrecy of classified information.
In case no one was paying attention: we lost the Vietnam War. Fifty-eight thousand died and a quarter of a million young men were wounded. We had no business involved in that war in the first place. The real reason we were there was disguised by smoke and mirrors – and we were constantly fed propaganda to justify our involvement. Everything real was classified.
We may have called it a withdrawal, but we lost the Iraq War. Nothing was accomplished and that part of the world is more unstable than ever. Also, over four thousand men and women died in that fiasco. The real bull shit that went on there we will never know: Classified.
Even the politicians can’t tell you why we are in Afghanistan – Queen’s rook to F-3 – or some such foolishness. Anyway, it is classified. And then there is the war on terror. What the fuck? The government must know everything on everybody in the entire world to target our enemies. J. Edgar Hoover must be channeling this from beyond. This would have been his wet dream come true.
So, where do I fit into the asylum? The retired military man in me feels it is imperative that we protect our classified information, and punish those with clearances that disclose. The retired military man in me also feels that I, and all my military brothers and sisters, have been royally fucked, and it has all been classified. This new generation live their lives in the virtual reality worlds of Facebook, Twitter, Blogs and 24/7 cell phone connection They may be hypocritical enough to act incensed; but in reality they have already published every aspect of their life into the data world for all to see and hear. It is the older generation, that has somewhat avoided airing every farts and bowel movement into cyberspace; they feels necked and exposed in their new clothes.
So I predict that the inmates will weep and wail and gnash their teeth for a while – until the pudding is served. Then they will all go back to watching clothes spin in the dryer and life will return to normal. All governments have always covertly manipulated their people – and history always repeats itself; and it has happened and will happen again and again and again. And then we will eat our pudding and go back and watch the dryer spin. At my age I no longer have a dog in this fight, and I have seen it all before. So I will just watch – drink a little wine – and line up for my pudding when it is served.
