WHEN IT’S WINTER UP IN MAINE…

Well, the noreaster (blizzard) has finally arrived in western Maine.    It was supposed to hit last night about midnight, but is must have stopped in Boston for some Baked Beans because the first light windblown snow started about an hour ago at seven a.m.

The news media is hyping this storm as a “monster storm,” but they are predicting less than two feet here in Maine.   Granted that is a considerable amount of snow in one storm, but for Christ sake this is Maine; and if you can’t handle a couple of feet of snow you need to move away.

Actually, here in the western mountains, it is not the snow we worry about; but as the snow accumulates the snow zombies roam down from Canada.   These are the creatures we scare the children with when they don’t behave: ‘The Canadian snow zombies will get you when you go sledding if you don’t eat your brussels sprouts.’

The danger from snow zombies is you can’t see them.   You are zipping down the ski trail on your cross country skis, or snowshoeing through the woodlot behind your house and the damn things rise out of the snow as you pass by, and are on you before you realize. 

Unlike the zombies in all the phony, unrealistic movies, the Canadian snow zombies often carry weapons.  They will either beat you to a bloody pulp with a carrion bone or slice you up with a sword before feasting on your body. 

   We won’t even mention what they will do to you if they catch you with your pants down taking a dump in the woods.   It is scary.

Realistically, you can’t kill a zombie.   They are already dead.  So, the idea that you can shoot them with a pistol or kill them with a cross bow is ludicrous.   The only thing the snow zombie is afraid of is a snow blower, and I gassed mine up yesterday.   

I don’t ski any more but I do occasionally snow shoe: but not this storm.   Because of the depth of the fresh accumulation forecast I think I will stay in the house until the threat of snow zombies has passed.   I will, however, have to go out back and clear and fill the bird feeders; so if I suddenly stop blogging you will know the worst has happened.

the Ol’Buzzard 

      

  

STORM PREPARATION

Our last big snow storm 08

We have it coming: A major Noreaster (a blizzard to those who don’t speak Maine.)    The snow is due to start Monday night and continue into Wednesday.  Most Noreasters last from six to eight hours but according to forecast this one will stall and continue for more than twenty four hours. 

I don’t mind.   I have been complaining all of January that we haven’t received enough snow to bank the house.  We got approximately a foot in early January and then came rain so we have ended with about five inches of frozen, crunchy, ice crystal snow cover that has endured until now.  

The snow predictions range from eighteen to thirty-six inches with high winds, according to which computer model you pay attention to.

So preparations begin:  we will go into town tomorrow and shop to stock up the food larder.   Fresh vegies keep well and will give us salads.  Can goods including tuna, salmon and beans are a good put by.   We will likely lose electricity for and extended time but we can cook on the gas stovetop and move perishables into the back hall as temps are predicted in the single numbers to below zero at night.   We have put new batteries in our flashlights and in our battery operated lantern, we also have an oil lamp and gas lamps installed in the living room and kitchen.  We have six gallons of water for flushing the toilet and twelve gallons for drinking.   I moved about a quarter cord of wood to my wood storage unit by the back door and filled my normal storage on the back porch. 

Holds a quarter of a cord filled.

Tomorrow I will fill the snow blower with gas and start it and run it for a few minutes.  The shovel is by the back door.   I also filled the bird feeders and will probably have to make trips out back to keep them clear of snow.

We don’t have a check list, but have done this enough that it is second nature. 

It will be time for books and games and snuggle down with the cats; a not all together unpleasant prospect.  

the Ol’Buzzard

SNOWMAGEDDON

The south has been has been overwhelmed by Snowmageddon.   Two inches in Georgia brought traffic to a standstill – people abandoning their cars – families were separated and the routine of normal life interrupted.  

In the Carolinas three to four inches of something resembling snow (the suspicion is that the military, on the orders of President Obama, is experimenting with a new weather weapon) caused traffic crashes, stranded people in their cars for hours, and sent the fundamentalist Christians streaming to church to plead with God to forgive them for not opposing homosexuality more stridently.

Up here in western Maine I watch the TV weather with fascination.   Any snow that I can measure with my dick I don’t consider as a storm of note.   I don’t even bother to clear my driveway if the snowfall is less than four inches.    It is not until I hear that mystical word Noreaster that I get the least concerned.  

A Noreaster occurs when a low pressure system skirts the southern coast of Maine and the counterclockwise rotation of the low pulls moisture from the Gulf of Maine and drives it across the state with high winds coming out of the north east. 

A Noreaster came through yesterday dropping about sixteen inches of snow here in western Maine by eight-o-clock this morning.   It took me three hours with the snow blower, the shovel and the roof rake to finally dig out from the storm. 

The problem with this storm was that the temperature rose to thirty-two degrees making the snow thick and heavy to move.   Being in my mid-seventies I was pretty much exhausted by the time I got the area secured.    However, a pizza, two glasses of wine and a short nap – along with a BC powder when I got up has the Ol’Buzzard back flapping his wings again. 

We are pretty comfortable with snow storms up here in Maine.   It is the ice storms that take out power lines that most people fear.   Having lived much of our married life in the wilderness, my wife and I have prepared our cabin for all contingencies.    Loss of power, to us, is an inconvenience but no big deal. 

Needs a new mantle.

Gas lamp upper right.

  We have propane gas lamps mounted in the living room and kitchen; we have a wood stove for heat, a gas range in the kitchen and we keep six gallons of water stored in the bathroom cupboard to flush the toilet.   When we hear an ice storm in imminent we break out the flashlights, put oil in the oil lamp, check our firewood supply and kick back for a time of reading and playing games.  

And we still have our solstice tree to brighten the dark and dreary winter days.  We will take it down at the Spring equinox.