A BUZZARD EGG OMELET #27

We go the gymnasium at the local university.  I mentioned to my wife that taking babies into the pool seems like a bad idea because they are bound to pee when they get into the water.   My wife replied very matter-of-fact that everyone pees in the pool – at least all women do.   Now that I think about it, I have never seen a woman get out of the pool and go into the dressing room to use the restroom.   Most men do. 

Now I am noticing that the University holds water aerobic classes for seniors – mostly women attend – where are they peeing.  They have water exercise classes for retarded (oops…mentally challenged) children and adults – guess where they pee?    Then there has got to be some percentage of men who pee or even jack-off in the pool.   I know that having sex in the pool with all the people around…well it is done.

God damn it!   I don’t think I will ever swim in another swimming pool again.

While I am on the subject of bodily waste I have a gripe about toilet paper.    We live off the city water sewerage grid so we have a septic tank for our waste water.    Regular toilet paper doesn’t dissolve thoroughly so it tends to clog up septic drain fields.   The solution is to use Septic Safe toilet paper that readily dissolves in water.  

The problem is, when you wipe your ass the paper dissolves and your finger often pokes through the paper - to put it less offensively you end up with feces fingers – hey, that’s got a nice ring to it: feces fingers…could lead to a poem or song lyrics.  Ok: shit finger, crap finger, stink finger… you get the drift.  Fortunately our sink is beside the toilet.  

Is anyone actually concerned about the NSA spying on them?   If anything, we should be concerned that we have far more people employed by the NSA than is actually needed.   How many people does it take to access Face Book and find out when you granddaughter had her last period?  

I dislike women being called bitches.   I have no

problem calling them witches.   I believe all women are witches and the Goddess protects her daughters – there are secrets in the sisterhood that we men are not privileged to.  Women are mysterious – their moods often determined by the tides and the moon – they are the true forces of nature. 

The new outrage (is it Michigan or Minnesota) is the state requiring separate abortion insurance for women expecting to be raped or have an unwanted

pregnancy – regular insurance plans in that state can not by law include abortion protection.    My wife gets indignant about the Republican legislatures – mainly men – legislating these arcane requirements on women.  


 I don’t have a problem with it: I feel that many men, like myself, find this intrusion on women despicable and would not support it; but over fifty percent of the population is female - and they seem, on the whole, acceptant and supportive of this type of government regulation controlling the reproductive function of their gender – otherwise why would they continue to vote the same male chauvinists into office?    Women, with their vote alone, could change the makeup of any state legislature. 

Now I am probably in trouble with my wife, who considers all female subjugation totally the fault of manipulative men. 

It seems that more than ever Christian theocracy is on the political American agenda.  Like George Carlin said: The Christians are coming, and they are not very nice people.   

This time of year you hear the cry of The War on Christmas.  But, that cry, in reality, is the call to arms for the Christian army to unite in conforming all of us to their religious belief.   Just because some of us are paranoid, doesn’t mean they are not out to control us.  If you think the Taliban is oppressive, wait until you see the new Christian inquisition.

Is the Pope Catholic?   Good question.  

I could go on – but I won’t

the Ol’Buzzard