WOMEN DON’T UNDERSTAND MEN

It is just the two of us, my wife and me.   We often (usually) eat in the living room in front of the television (because it is hard to eat while reading a book.)  

There is no dishwasher in our house, and never has been.   We do the dishes together.   My wife washes (because she says I won’t get the dishes clean) and I dry.  That is not the conundrum.   

Once every couple of weeks we will order pizza from a local mom & pops deli.    My wife will make a salad while I go pick up the pizza (it is a small town – no delivery here.)    After we finish eating the standing joke is (way overused) that I say,” I’ll do the dishes tonight;”   and then I take the paper plates into the kitchen and throw them away.   Here lies the problem: about once a month we end up with one less piece of silverware.  

My wife claims I absentmindedly throw away a fork or knife with the paper plates.   I will admit this is not impossible – but hell I am old (standard excuse.)  

I don’t see the problem.   It seems to me the issue is that perhaps we have too much silverware.   Why do two people need six knives and six salad forks, six dinner forks, six desert spoons and six soup spoons?   

Hell, if I were by myself I would only need one plate, one bowl, one fork one spoon and my pocket knife.    Now that would be a dilemma if one of them came up missing; but when you have six of everything and come up missing one you still have five (or four or three…) left.   There is still plenty to eat with.

Don’t get me wrong: I am not complaining.   You can see how I would be living if I didn’t have my better half. 

I know when I am well off, so we will buy more silverware (I know better than to say anything about plastic utensils.)    

the Ol’Buzzard