Saturday, April 26, 2014


It is just the two of us, my wife and me.   We often (usually) eat in the living room in front of the television (because it is hard to eat while reading a book.)  

There is no dishwasher in our house, and never has been.   We do the dishes together.   My wife washes (because she says I won’t get the dishes clean) and I dry.  That is not the conundrum.   

Once every couple of weeks we will order pizza from a local mom & pops deli.    My wife will make a salad while I go pick up the pizza (it is a small town – no delivery here.)    After we finish eating the standing joke is (way overused) that I say,” I’ll do the dishes tonight;”   and then I take the paper plates into the kitchen and throw them away.   Here lies the problem: about once a month we end up with one less piece of silverware.  

My wife claims I absentmindedly throw away a fork or knife with the paper plates.   I will admit this is not impossible – but hell I am old (standard excuse.)  

I don’t see the problem.   It seems to me the issue is that perhaps we have too much silverware.   Why do two people need six knives and six salad forks, six dinner forks, six desert spoons and six soup spoons?   

Hell, if I were by myself I would only need one plate, one bowl, one fork one spoon and my pocket knife.    Now that would be a dilemma if one of them came up missing; but when you have six of everything and come up missing one you still have five (or four or three…) left.   There is still plenty to eat with.

Don’t get me wrong: I am not complaining.   You can see how I would be living if I didn’t have my better half. 

I know when I am well off, so we will buy more silverware (I know better than to say anything about plastic utensils.)    
the Ol’Buzzard



  1. jackass...leave it to a woman to set you have one spoon, plate, knife and fork for each of 4 months you would be eating with your hands, because you would have lost all your silver wear....and rightfully so the wife should not let you use hers...ptffffff

    1. I'm a man
      but I can change
      If I have to
      I guess.

  2. Jackie Sue has it right. Silver ware and socks disappear one at a time. There is nothing to do about it except, as you say, buy another set. We are supposed to have 10 of everything plus odds for extras when we need them. I am afraid to count but I may need to buy another set soon too.

  3. How does my wife make all my favorite, finely aged shirts disappear? That's what I wanna know? You know what I mean? You have a great black shirt that's 11 years old and just beginning to get to the right shade of grey, soft, comfy...well, a little thread bare here and there....and then it's just "What shirt? That old shirt? Well, why don't you just get a new one?" Then, a few months later, I find my self reaching for a rag in the rag bag to clean some parts I had soaking in gasoline and there's my shirt...makes me wanna just break right down and cry.

    1. Been there also.
      The old stuff is best. We just get it broken in and then we have to listen to: 'You're not going to wear that down town are you?'

  4. Dollar Green has cheap silverware - $1 for six forks. Yes, made in China but for a buck - who cares? Same for the plates.
    Shit wears out - that is life. I need new jeans and socks - just renewed at Sam's so I am fine.

    Great post!

    Evansville, In

    Oh, pouring down like a cow pissing on a flat rock...


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