I GREW UP IN A MAN'S WORLD

 

TWO TRULY GREATS

the Ol'Buzzard

HERB BREAD

 

 

I have posted about bread making before.   My wife and I have been making our own bread with bread machines since 1985 when we lived in the Alaskan bush.

 

The reason people who buy bread machines tend not to use them, is there are too many bread options with ingrediency and instructions which often turn out poor bread.  

 

The machine we use is the Cuisinart, and I like it – mainly because it chimes before the last rise cycle allowing me to remove the dough, take out the paddle, then place the dough back into the machine to finish.

 

The machine has 16 different bread cycles and separate selection for loaf size and crust.   I use only one: white bread – 1 ½ pound loaf – medium crust.

 

My recipe takes five minutes of preparation. 

1 1/8 cup of water

2 tablespoon of olive oil

Three level cups of flour

1 tablespoon of sugar

1 teaspoon of salt

And one level teaspoon of yeast.

In that order.

 

The exact measure of water, flour and yeast must be precise.

 

I use all purpose flour.  If I want wheat bread, I replace one cup of the white flour with wheat flour; if I want whole grain or rye – the same thing.

Yesterday I made a herb bread.   Between each cup of flour, and on top, I sprinkled 1/2 teaspoon of dried Herbs-of-Provence.   You could use basil, dill, jasmine or the herb of your choice.  You can substitute the tablespoon of sugar with an equal amount of honey or molasses. 

 

If you want artisan bread, take out the dough before the last rise – cover it for rise time and bake it in your oven; for me too much work.

 

 I will make one caveat: the pizza dough cycle works well, though we don’t often make our own pizzas. 

 

Let your loaf sit for three to four hours to cool before storing in a plastic storage bag.   The bread will have the best texture and curst if sliced the next day – if you can wait that long.

 

There is no better bread than you can make at home in a bread machine with this simple recipe.

 

the Ol’Buzzard

 

 

 

 

HOLY HYPOCRISY

 

Yesterday I spent most of the morning moving a shed.   I was short of breath and had to stop and rest a half-dozen times.   I was exhausted (eighty-plus years old).  Took a hot shower and kicked back for the afternoon to recuperate.

  

We decided we would order in hamburgers from the local Greek pizza restaurant.    We are still not eating out because of Covid.

 

I went in to pick the burgers up, and there was a father in a booth with his thirty-something year old retarded son.   The son was belligerent.   He banged the table and was shouting.   He went to the drink machine and was refusing to leave.  For all purposes he was a 190 pound three-year-old, with a father he outweighed at least thirty pounds.   The father was definitely embarrassed and tried to cajole his son out of the restaurant.  I felt sorry for the father, knowing his past life and his future life had been destroyed by an accident of birth. 

 

As the father herded his son out the door the man next to me called out ‘God bless you.’   My instant reaction was to reply, ‘Fuck you and your God’ – but I didn’t

 

I am sick of these fucking people.  

 

At every minute within a day a child is dying from malnutrition.   Every few minutes each day a woman somewhere is being brutally raped.   Men are beating their wives and children.   People are being tortured. Worms are crawling around in the eyes of babies in Africa – the children will be blind before age five; children diagnosed with cancer, people burning to death in fires, birth deformities, children born retarded – disease, pestilence… 

 

That poor man, who seemed embarrassed and intimidated by his larger retarded son, what a fucking life he must live!

 

Fuck that guy and his God Bless You – and fuck the football player that runs across the goal line pointing a finger at the sky.

the Ol'Buzzard

 

 

DON’T LOOK UP

 

 

The Netflix movie Don’t Look Up is a must see.   It is a parody of the four years under Trump's administration and his handling of the corona virus.   An allegory of how political manipulation of public opinion, and the gullibility of a large section of our society disregard science.

This is the type of story that Michael Crichton could have written.

The movie begins when an astrophysicist and his research assistant discover a new asteroid on their radio telescope.  After tracking the asteroid, they discover it on a collision course with the earth.

 

Corona virus 

 

The scientists try to warn the government and eventually gets a meeting with the President, who prefers not to accept the findings, as she fears it will distract her base, and she is just months to her campaign for reelection.

 

Trump

 

In desperation, the scientist goes on the equivalence of Fox News and tries to alert the public.    The clown circus (Fox and Friends) show their ineptitude and ignorance by making light of the situation.   Finally, exasperated, the scientist explodes and yells that we are all going to die.

 

The President, now in her reelection mode, uses the scientist tirade from the news show to solidify her gullible base.   She begins to hold rallies, telling her followers that the Libs are spreading the false news of an asteroid collision to discourage them from voting, and that the educated snobs and the people from Hollywood look down on the average man, considering them dumb.  The President tells her followers, just don’t to look up.

 

There is nothing to fear from the Corona virus - so don’t take the vaccine.

 

Don’t look up, becomes the rally cry at all the President’s rallies. 

 

Even as the asteroid becomes visible, her followers go through their daily activities, refusing reality and refusing to look up.

 

The virus death toll rises and people in the ICU, hooked up to ventilators, rail and rant, calling the nurses and doctors liars when they are told they have Corona Virus.

 

I don’t see this as a spoiler.   The movie has a good cast, a good script and the director keeps the action moving.   It is a shake your head movie and you become aghast when you realize the parallel to today’s Republican party.

 

As well as defining one political party in this country, this is a story of politics trumping science. 

 

The good thing about science is that it is true whether or not you believe it. 

Neil deGrasse Tyson

 

But, religion as well as politics has always tend to distort and downplay science for their own advantage.

the Ol’Buzzard  

WARNING WARNING WILL ROBINSON!

 

 

Christians are taking time from their drive to punish women who access abortions, to celebrate and act of prolicide (the human sacrifice of one’s own son) in order to “take away the sins of the world”.

 

I don’t have a problem with people making up imaginary gods and showing devotion to them (clap if you believe in fairies!) 

 It becomes a problem when gullible people become the base of a political party and affect the sanity of a nation. 

 

A racist white fundamentalist Christian base is the heart of Trump’s power over the Republican Party. The results of that Christian base electing idiots and supporting Trump sycophants has pushed the Grand Old Party off the rails. 

Here is the result:

 

Finland and Sweden are about to apply for NATO membership, and have the support of all the Nation Members of NATO – except the United States.    For the US to agree to the addition of Finland and Sweden’s membership, the US Senate must ratify the request with a two-thirds majority.    If the US doesn’t support the entrance of new members, the request are dead in the water.

 

This means that sixteen Republican Senators and Joe Manchin will have to cast votes in favor.     The only thing you can count on the Republican Party to do is cut taxes: abortion, guns and god are just to keep the punters in their seats.   

the Ol’Buzzard

 

 

 

  

THE MONKEYS RUN IN THE DARK HOURS BEFORE DAWN

We usually go to bed about ten at night and read until midnight.   After we cut the lights out, I spend five minutes coughing and rolling and tossing before I find that perfect spot and fall asleep.    At four-thirty nature calls and I get up and stumble into the bathroom for an old man pee.  

 

Back in bed I try to fall back to sleep, but usually the cat jumps on the bed and wants to snuggle between my legs.    I lie there awake, but resting.  At my age it is not particularly pleasant to dwell on the past or the future, so better to channel my mind to the obscure thoughts that inhabit the predawn.

 

I plan to move my storage shed forward twelve feet in the next couple of weeks, once the ground firms up.    Twelve feet.   One foot.  Who came up with the concept of a foot?   What a ridiculous measurement.

 

12 inches equals a foot; 3 feet or 36 inches equals a yard; 5280 feet equals a mile….   Idiocy.   If a foot is your standard of measurement, where did the name inch come from, or yard, or mile?  How were those measurement determined?

 

Instead of an inch why not call it a toe?  Twelve toes to a foot.    But wait, that doesn’t make sense, we only have five toes on a foot.   

 

 If the foot is our standard, perhaps it should go like this: 

1 toe replaces the inch standard; 

3 toes = 1 finger; 

2 fingers = 1 dick;

 2 dicks = 1 foot;

 6 feet = 1 deadman;

 1000 deadmen equal…  

That would be interesting but ridiculous, and besides it is sexist.   Why should we only use men as our measurement standard?

 

People who do a lot of carpentry often measure with their hands.  One joint of my first finger equals one inch; the three joints are three inches and the joint behind the knuckle is four inches.   My span from thumb tip to middle finger tip is nine inches.   I have a measuring tool with me all the time.   Instead of feet, we could measure in spans with nine joints to a span.   

 

But wait; 16 inches on center is the golden number for U.S. carpenters.   Why aren’t we using a joist as our standard? 

 

The metric system makes a lot more sense; except, I don’t like the word meter.   It would be great to change it a loon: milliloon, centiloon, decaloon and a loony.   Except Canada has already coopted the loony.    Also, the abbreviation for milliloon (ml) would conflict with milliliter (ml), a volume measurement.

 

Anyway, as soon as the ground firms up I have got to move my shed forward twelve feet (or two deadmen.)

  

the Ol’Buzzard

 

 

 

 

 

    

A TOTALLY REALISTIC SENARIO

 The Republicans and Putin are simpatico.   There is no depth they will not stoop to to retain power.   If they recover the White House in 2024 the world as we have known it will be no more. 

the Ol'Buzzard