Sunday, February 13, 2011



What the hell has happened to men’s billfolds? I remember when men carried a thin leather envelope that contained some folding money and a paper driver’s license. You never even knew it was in your back pocket. There were no credit cards or cards of any ilk. Life was simpler then – you wanted to buy something that cost five dollars and fifty cents you took out your billfold, extracted a five and a one and received your change, which you put in your front pocket. Some men even carried small change holders so change wouldn’t clank around in their pocket. You never had more than one dollar in change because you used it.

I just took a look at my billfold: I hate my billfold. It is like a big nylon clod that bulges from my back pocket. When I sit down I have to position myself, so I don’t feel like I’ve got a stone under my ass.

My billfold doesn’t even have any bills in it. It should be called a card bomb, not a billfold. I have to carry my bills in a money clip in my front pocket because there is no room in my billfold for bills.

Instead mine contains: A commercial insurance card, a military insurance card, a VA identification card, a social security card, a prescription card and a Franklin Memorial Hospital Wellness Card. Then there is a driver’s license, a military I.D. card, a credit card and a debit card. But that’s not enough: I have an AARP card, a bowling league card, lifetime hunting and fishing license, a volunteer water quality monitoring I.D. card, a card each from two credit unions, a United Bikers of Maine I.D. card and a Gold LEAF Senior College card. I also carry the registration for my Canoe.

At home I have an envelope with more cards that I don’t have room for in my card bomb.

There should be a better way to deal with cards. Perhaps they should develop an application for cell phones that would allow you to download all your cards. Except, I only have a basic cell phone so that wouldn’t help me.

Maybe I should have a man-purse – a shoulder bag like my wife. Then I would be able to carry all my cards and even my money. I could put in my pocket knife, bandanna  and my key ring and free up all my pants pocket. I might even stick in a flint and steel in case I ever wanted to build an emergency camp fire. Small binoculars would be nice. Oh yes; my GPS. There would be room for my camera; definitely a space for my cell phone…fishing hooks, line, BC powers, reading glasses, my i-pod. I could have a built-in holster for a concealed weapon. The possibilities could be endless.

But that would never work. If it couldn’t fit in my pocket then I’d probably lay it down some place and loose it.

my next blog will definitely complete my discussion on education.
(Unless i get sidetracked again.)

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COMMENT: Ben Franklin said, "I imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all doctrines he holds are true, and all he rejects are false."