Sunday, April 3, 2016

BUZZARD BARF



Last night I watched a recorded Nova presentation on math.

  

Sometimes around midnight I went to bed.   After getting my junk adjusted and my pillow just right I lay there waiting for sleep, but could hear my pulse beating in my ear.  I readjusted my head to cut out the sound, but one of the monkey in my mind started counting numbers:

The average heart beats sixty time a minute
60X60: that would be 360 times an hour

and then the Count takes over:



360X24= 8,640 beats a day;

All right I am running at the limit of my brain math, but I have got to answer the question if I am ever going to get to sleep

400X8000=  around 3,200,000 beats a year
( actually 8,640X 365= 3,153,600);


Over the hump of seventy years… round off…
Something around a quarter of billion heart beats in my lifetime – that’s close enough.

   Damn, hearts are really an impressive muscle that we take for granted until they start to wear out.   

Nonstop, a quarter of a billion…

Then I wake up – it’s three-o-clock and I’ve got to pee.

DID I RUN and
AM I TIRED?

the Ol’Buzzard

5 comments:

  1. Buzzie. The above written images the three am conversations I used to have with my veryownself back to when I snorted coke. Lie in the bed with the ticker clicking off maybe 180 beats per minute and thinking that there might possibly be a heart attack headed my way.

    Then one night years later, I'm on my back in bed and that cramp started--seized my chest and near paralyzed me. I mustered the strength to reach for the phone when I realized I had a massive cramp in my diaphragm muscle.

    Asked my doc a couple months later, he tells me he thinks the difference between a heart attack and those cramps is minimal as far as the pain side of things.

    "But the heart is an amazing creature, Mooner. Even with all you've put yours through, there's still years left on its warranty."

    So, fuck Walmart!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Buzzie. The above written images the three am conversations I used to have with my veryownself back to when I snorted coke. Lie in the bed with the ticker clicking off maybe 180 beats per minute and thinking that there might possibly be a heart attack headed my way.

    Then one night years later, I'm on my back in bed and that cramp started--seized my chest and near paralyzed me. I mustered the strength to reach for the phone when I realized I had a massive cramp in my diaphragm muscle.

    Asked my doc a couple months later, he tells me he thinks the difference between a heart attack and those cramps is minimal as far as the pain side of things.

    "But the heart is an amazing creature, Mooner. Even with all you've put yours through, there's still years left on its warranty."

    So, fuck Walmart!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am soooo bad at math that numbers never inter into my sleep..but that pulse beating in your ear shit drives me nuts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I get both my ears drunk and sleep like a man with no conscience.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The heart pumps about 5 litres of blood per minute so in your 70 years it has pumped 184 million litres or 48.5 million gallons. And if you breath another 300 million times, you will be 100 years old!

    ReplyDelete

COMMENT: Ben Franklin said, "I imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all doctrines he holds are true, and all he rejects are false."