Friday, June 12, 2015


Yesterday and not for the first time, I experienced the voyage of the Enterprise up my nether part.   It takes a brave crew to venture there for who knows what aliens may be encountered. 

The procedure was scheduled for Thursday morning and the instructions were to have ‘my last meal’ on Tuesday night.   After that I was to have only clear liquids up until midnight on Wednesday and then nothing.

But there was an add-on: starting at noon on Wednesday I was to begin consuming one gallon of the nastiest liquid ever devised, one ten ounce glass at a time, at fifteen minutes intervals.  

Being a math person I instantly recognized one gallon of witch's brew translated to 128 ounces – divided by ten ounce glasses – divided by four glasses an hour meant that I would be gagging down this disgusting fluid for over three hours at fifteen minute intervals.


To ingest one gallon of any liquid (other than beer) in three hours is a feat in itself - this is more than should be expected of any human being.  The diarrhea that resulted was actually a relief knowing that that evil alchemist concoction would not forever remain a part of my system. 


After sitting on the Iron Throne for a few hours, what was left of me was finally able to go to bed, only to get up at five in the morning to watch my wife eat breakfast before heading for the day surgery. 

The best part of the whole procedure was the happy-shot they administered just before they violated me. 

You would think when I awoke I could have at least expected a mint on my pillow. 


Poor wife
The gas still remains
the Ol’Buzzard


  1. ahahahahaahahahahaa! I remember the gas that David had with his firt time. EEEEeeeewwwwww!. At the most inappropriate times too.

  2. if it wasn't for that crap you have to drink it's not that bad of an experience..not that I want to have it done again..

  3. Love that photo of the Iron Throne, LOL! I've had several colonoscopies now and always find "the cleanse" to be a much worse experience than the actual scoping itself. Yay for good drugs!

  4. congrats on surviving. You are a better man than me. The stuff I had to drink for my CT Scan with contrast was enough nasty to last me a lifetime! I know I got one of these in my future. Maybe I'll get lucky and die first! ha ha ha ha ha

  5. This will be moi, July 1st. I'll be getting the double whammie...the colonwhatsit and endoscopy...both ends in one sitting. If the gas holds, I'll be well prepared for the 4th.

  6. I had mine in 2010 and am now good to go until 2020. The Old Lady had hers several years before Obamacare and even tho she had good insurance (The Blues) we had to make monthly payments for a long time to pay the co-pay. I had mine after Obamacare and the insurance paid the whole tab!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. I had one of those a few years back. Don'r recall having to fast that long or drink ugly liquids. No, they didn't find my head up there.


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