Wednesday, June 3, 2015


If you walk into a movie theater or playhouse and don’t turn your phone off you are an asshole.

If you are seated at a restaurant and carry on a conversation on your cell phone you are an asshole.

If you are sitting at a restaurant with one or more friends and take out your phone to check your messages you are an asshole.

If you are driving and talking on your phone you are an asshole (and if you are driving and texting you are a fucktard asshole.)

If you are driving less than two car lengths from the car in front of you, you are an asshole.

If you are at a restaurant and talking and laughing excessively loud you are an asshole.

If you leave your dog unattended in a car you are an asshole.

If your dog craps anywhere other than your own yard you are an asshole.

If your dog or cat is allowed to run free outside of your yard you are an asshole.

If you take your dog into a store or a restaurant you are an asshole.

If you carry a firearm into any a restaurant, store or any public venue you are an asshole.

If you feel that everyone else should defer to your religious beliefs you are an asshole.

This is just the short list: feel free to add to it at will. 

the Ol’Buzzard


  1. And yet the world is full of them!

    (PS - I do think it is OK to allow your dog to shit in other places than your own yards as long as you pick it up. No, I don't own a dog.)

  2. quit holding back Buzz! tell us what you really think! ha ha ha ha ha

  3. From a woman's perspective, here's another: If you think it's okay to tell perfect strangers to smile you're an asshole.

  4. I agree with Nan. Some poor shmuck on the street said that to me once when I was having a bad mood day and man, I went up one side of him and came down the other. He never even knew what hit him.

  5. How about if you let your dog bark for no damned reason and keep you neighbors up at night - you might be an asshole.

    If you play your rap music way too fucking loud in your car as you pass by at 2 a.m. and it makes people's car alarms go off and the windows in their homes rattle - you might be an asshole.

    There are more but I don't want to monopolize all the fun.

  6. If you think people on food stamps are're a double-asshole.

  7. If you think the world revolves around your needs you're an asshole. Nice list, by the way.


COMMENT: Ben Franklin said, "I imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all doctrines he holds are true, and all he rejects are false."