Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts

Thursday, March 9, 2017

THE INFALLIBILITY OF GOD - PLUS: WOMEN, CARS AND INSURANCE COMPANIES







Anyone who has read more than one or two of my blogs probably knows that I don’t believe in a god or angles or devils or tinker bell - even if all the children clap.

I have, all my life, been surrounded by Christians that want to proselytize and legislate their religious beliefs.  

I do not argue with these people because their belief is stronger than logic.

But when asked why I don’t believe, I usually sight: women.


Christians claim a God of all power, all knowing and all seeing; an infallible designer of the earth, the stars, the galaxies and the solar system. 

And yet, any man who has ever accompanied his wife to a gynecologist office realizes that women’s plumbing systems have a real design problem.   They seem to have the same road dependability as a Yugo automobile.

Women are plagued with painful periods, irregular periods, prenatal, postnatal, uterine cancer, breast cancer, menopause, leaks, discharges, prolapses, rashes, dryness, urinary tract infections, pain, sensitivity, and an infinite number of things that I will probably never understand.

If an automobile company put out a product that broke down that often their engineers and design teams would be fired and the company would probably go bankrupt.   

Don’t get me wrong.  I love women’s nether parts and all the bells and whistles and accompaniments that go along to make The Total Woman. But, my point is, that if there were actually a pluperfect, infallible God – designer of the universe –  It seems He would have been able to do a better job for women. 




The Yugo automobile that sold in the 1980’s was totally undependable.  The engines were known to explode, electrical systems regularly shorted out and parts would fall off for no reason.  Many insurances companies refused to insure Yugos.





Friday, October 30, 2015

HALLOWEEN






I am some disappointed.  Here it is the day before Halloween and after searching the online TV guide for Halloween movies I came up with nothing except a Michael Myers marathon – and that sux.


As I have stated on other blogs I don’t believe in ghost and goblins and things that go bump in the night; but I love Halloween and movies of monsters and witches and things that represent this season. 



 
Actually, my wife and I celebrate Halloween.   Halloween for us evolved from the times of witchcraft: maidens, mothers and crones – a time when wise women practiced medicine with herbs and spells and offered hope to people in special need. 



  
Witches, if you will, were uniquely in touch with the cycles of nature, as only women can be.   Men and religions over the centuries have suppressed these connections, until today girls and women and crones do not even realize the power they possess – they do not celebrate their nature. 


Halloween is their time, a time of witches, a time of women – It is the quintessential holiday for women.  A time for women to celebrate all stages of their life and renew their connections with Mother Nature.


 the Ol'Buzzard


Sunday, April 29, 2012

A BUZZARD EGG OMELET #12


SEX IN THE MORNING - IT'S A MALE THING?

One reason I know that some all powerful God didn’t create man, is that men and women are basically so incompatible.  

I recently saw a chart about male and female sexual response.   It seems that males are most ardent in the morning and their curve decreases throughout the day ebbing at night; where as, women are at their lowest receptivity in the morning and increase to their peak at night.  The curves intersect at around 4 p.m. as the optimal time when both are equally responsive.  

I think this curve is probably correct, as I wake up (as do most boys and men) randy – though I would never turn down the offer at night.

Occasionally, when I wake in the morning and my wife is asleep with her back to me, I will quietly sidle over to her side of the bed, snuggle up conforming my body to her's, move my hips a little bit, put my arms around her and try to take hold of one of the girls – then I’ll whisper: How about a little morning delight…sunrise loving…roll in the hay…poke in the whiskers… jump your bones…a quickie…    Then suddenly I will get an elbow to the ribs or a fist to the stomach or a kick on the shins.  

My question is: Is this elder abuse?   And if so, do you think I could parlay (black mail) it into a blow job?  

I’m just asking.

The Ol’Buzzard

Friday, March 30, 2012

A BUZZARD EGG OMELET #10




OK, I get it – and I empathize:  Women have always been subjugated by men.   They are portrayed by religion as sinful, lustful, succubus looking to lead boys and men into debauchery.  They have been portrayed by husbands as nitwits to be made fun of, and by business as emotionally unstable hires that aren’t as dependable as men.

Now the government wishes to control their sexuality and reproductive life; going so far as to enact state mandated rape. 

My question is: Females are over fifty percent of the population…and they have the vote…why is this an issue?



I’m just asking.
the Ol’Buzzard