Sunday, April 29, 2012
A BUZZARD EGG OMELET #12
SEX IN THE MORNING - IT'S A MALE THING?
One reason I know that some all powerful God didn’t create man, is that men and women are basically so incompatible.
I recently saw a chart about male and female sexual response. It seems that males are most ardent in the morning and their curve decreases throughout the day ebbing at night; where as, women are at their lowest receptivity in the morning and increase to their peak at night. The curves intersect at around 4 p.m. as the optimal time when both are equally responsive.
I think this curve is probably correct, as I wake up (as do most boys and men) randy – though I would never turn down the offer at night.
Occasionally, when I wake in the morning and my wife is asleep with her back to me, I will quietly sidle over to her side of the bed, snuggle up conforming my body to her's, move my hips a little bit, put my arms around her and try to take hold of one of the girls – then I’ll whisper: How about a little morning delight…sunrise loving…roll in the hay…poke in the whiskers… jump your bones…a quickie… Then suddenly I will get an elbow to the ribs or a fist to the stomach or a kick on the shins.
My question is: Is this elder abuse? And if so, do you think I could parlay (black mail) it into a blow job?
I’m just asking.