Sunday, August 6, 2017



This morning I smashed my toes into the base of my Total Gym and they hurt like hell.

I missed my chance of being an entrepreneur millionaire.  

Back in the early 1960 I was on a flight crew that flew into Greece.    Many of the flight crew members bought worry beads to hang on their flight jackets. 

When we returned home to Maine it was hunting season and while out hunting I came across a pile of moose poop.   Realizing they were about the same size as worry beads I scooped up a pocket full, later dipped them in acrylic and made a set of moose turd worry beads for my flight jacket.  I also made a set of moose turd earrings for a young woman I knew (I have always had class.)  

Ten years later, I happened to be in L.L. Beans and found they were selling moose pearl swizzle sticks and other moose turd items.  Now they are sold everywhere.

I had missed my chance at fame and fortune.

Now I have another brilliant idea for a product; but being in my seventies and having not kept up with electronic innovations I will offer the idea for free to any young entrepreneur that is looking to make their first million.

My wife and I live in a small cabin.   I am a good size man: six feet, topping two-hundred pounds and wear size 14 shoes ( I have big feet.)    As we have carpeting my wife doesn’t like me coming into the house wearing my boots or street shoes, so I usually walk around in my sock feet.   This means that I inevitably end up smashing my poor toes into furniture, steps, walls or the hearth of the wood stove.  

So here is my suggestion:
Make a pair of socks with the toe made of light sensitive material. 

A small chip can be added that can make the light sensitive sock perform like the motion light at your front door.

When the toe of the sock moves within 500 centimeters toward an obstruction the chip can activate a toe airbag the same way the airbags work in our cars.

As I am not able to develop this remarkable million-dollar opportunity I encourage some young entrepreneur to patent this idea and run with it.  

However, if you would have me as a loyal customer – you had best hurry.

You’re welcome

the Ol’Buzzard


  1. Airbags for toes. Okay I've heard, read and seen everything on the internet. I can die now, laughing, yes.

  2. Maybe a set of toe bumpers? Since you mentioned L.L. Bean, perhaps a set of their wicked good slippers. They'd protect your toes. -Jenn


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