Tuesday, January 27, 2015

WHEN IT’S WINTER UP IN MAINE…






Well, the noreaster (blizzard) has finally arrived in western Maine.    It was supposed to hit last night about midnight, but is must have stopped in Boston for some Baked Beans because the first light windblown snow started about an hour ago at seven a.m.

The news media is hyping this storm as a “monster storm,” but they are predicting less than two feet here in Maine.   Granted that is a considerable amount of snow in one storm, but for Christ sake this is Maine; and if you can’t handle a couple of feet of snow you need to move away.



Actually, here in the western mountains, it is not the snow we worry about; but as the snow accumulates the snow zombies roam down from Canada.   These are the creatures we scare the children with when they don’t behave: ‘The Canadian snow zombies will get you when you go sledding if you don’t eat your brussels sprouts.’



The danger from snow zombies is you can’t see them.   You are zipping down the ski trail on your cross country skis, or snowshoeing through the woodlot behind your house and the damn things rise out of the snow as you pass by, and are on you before you realize. 







Unlike the zombies in all the phony, unrealistic movies, the Canadian snow zombies often carry weapons.  They will either beat you to a bloody pulp with a carrion bone or slice you up with a sword before feasting on your body. 




   We won’t even mention what they will do to you if they catch you with your pants down taking a dump in the woods.   It is scary.



Realistically, you can’t kill a zombie.   They are already dead.  So, the idea that you can shoot them with a pistol or kill them with a cross bow is ludicrous.   The only thing the snow zombie is afraid of is a snow blower, and I gassed mine up yesterday.   

I don’t ski any more but I do occasionally snow shoe: but not this storm.   Because of the depth of the fresh accumulation forecast I think I will stay in the house until the threat of snow zombies has passed.   I will, however, have to go out back and clear and fill the bird feeders; so if I suddenly stop blogging you will know the worst has happened.



the Ol’Buzzard 

      


  

8 comments:

  1. Having spent most of my life under a rock, I have no idea what this zombie stuff is all about.

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  2. Winter is coming, send more people to the North Wall to defend against the White Walkers!!!

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  3. Canadian snow zombies, LOL! Every Canadian longs to go south in the winter.

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  4. ahahahahaaaa! Nice! Yeah, they sorta called it The Snow Fizzard of 2015. It more than fizzled out before it hit. Snow zombies. Hmmm, now wouldn't they also be afraid of a blow torch? Just wondering.

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  5. Hope you've got a good stash of dragon glass knives.

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  6. We had our blizzard back in December. Keep warm and safe ;-)

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  7. it's going to be 80 today..sorry, am I rubbing it in? betcha ass..

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  8. I love the Canadian snow zombie alert! I did a short piece called Storm of The Century featuring the Demonic Weather Channel Forecaster....also too many 16 oz Rolling Rocks, Salisbury steak TV dinners and drugs. Here in the Dordogne? There is a flood alert....that's why I live on top of the hill!

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