Thursday, January 15, 2015

BAD JOKES - I LOVE UM





A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer.   The bartender can’t help but stare because along with a barrel chest and rippling muscles this man’s head is about the size of an orange. 
 

The bartender hands the man his beer and says, “I hope you don’t mind me asking; your have a fantastic physique, but why is your head so small?”

The big guy nods slowly.  He has obviously heard this question many times before.  

“One day,” he begins, “I was hunting alone in the woods and I heard someone crying for help.   I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting beside a stream.”
  
“No shit,” says the bartender thoroughly intrigued.

“Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, ‘Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.’”

“I looked around to make sure no one was looking and then gave the frog a kiss.   Instantly, this frog turns into a beautiful naked woman.     She looked at me with penetrating green eyes and said ‘You now have three wishes.’

The man pauses and takes a sip of beer.

“Well, I looked down at my 115 pound body and said, ‘I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger.’  She nodded and snapped her fingers and suddenly I was so huge that I had ripped out of my clothes.   She then asked, ‘What will your second wish be?’”

“There was no doubt about what I wanted next.  I looked at her beautiful naked body and said, ‘I want to make mad passionate love to you right here beside the stream.’   We made love for hours – it was fantastic.   At last, as we lay next to each other sweating and panting she said, ‘You have one more wish, what will it be?’   I rolled over and looked at her and replied, ‘How ‘bout a little head?’ ”

Parodied from Cycle Source Magazine. 




 the Ol'Buzzard says





5 comments:

  1. you are so bad...funny...but baaaad

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  2. Hahahahaha, always be careful what you ask for, eh?

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  3. CYCLE SOURCE! I love this magazine! They covered my nephew's, Tommy, Birthday party last year!

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  4. OMG!! Ahahahaaahahahaaahahaa!!! That was a good one.

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COMMENT: Ben Franklin said, "I imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all doctrines he holds are true, and all he rejects are false."