Saturday, February 15, 2014

WARNING: THIS POST IS R-RATED





WARNING: THIS POST IS R-RATED: CONTAINS SEXUAL REFERENCES AND LANGUAGE NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THE IMMATURE.



On my last post I wrote that I was not concerned with any snow fall I could measure with my dick.   I went back to edit the post and almost change the analogy – and then didn't

I have little patience with people that get incensed over a word.   How words are used – when words injure - can be objectionable; but the words dick is just a scribbles on a page or uttered sound that has some identity in our language but means absolutely nothing throughout the rest of the non- English speaking world.



A TREATISE ON PENIS:
Since I brought it up lets consider the penis.   Men have numerous words to describe what hangs between their legs: There is Willy, John Thomas, Dick, Johnson, Cock, Wing-Wang, Junk, Pee Pee, Ding Dong, Trouser Snake, Man Meat, Prick, Little Soldier… and the list goes on.

It is unfair: we have these innocuous names for our junk but the names men attach to the female’s vagina are mostly insulting and crude.   For some reason women don’t return the insult in kind.  This is probably because men are rude vile pigs by nature and women aren't.

Women don’t have the same relationship with their nether parts as us men.   A young boy discovers his penis is fun about age seven; and if you don’t think you little son or grandson is yanking off like a rabbit every chance he gets you are naive.   Of course, he can’t ejaculate until about early teens – this is when mamma starts finding the stiff socks - but the gratification is there.   Most young boys and a lot of men name their penis – and we all talk to it: ‘looks like you’re going to get lucky tonight’ or after three of four beers when you have to piss like a race horse and you whip it out but nothing happens – then you cajole it: ‘Come on.  You can do this…’   

Regardless of what you call it - to us our appendage is a little person – a mini-me – a friend with a life and mind of its own. 

No apologies. 

the Ol'Buzzard



27 comments:

  1. Women, maybe I should say feminists, are too busy glorifying the vagina and take it too seriously to bother having fun joking about it. The only one I've heard is Va ja ja, or something similar. How could I forget!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone who takes things too serious can't be having any fun.
      O'B

      Delete
  2. I didn't go blind or stutter - air traffic controllers can't be that way. I did have to have some warts burnt off...

    Great post.
    I would say, "Say ten hair mary's and sin no more". But, you are a Buddhist. What do Buddhist do to atone for misdoing?

    Friar Sarge
    defrocked

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Buddhist would say; Forgetaboutit. Have a nice day.
      O'B

      Delete
  3. I had a girl friend in college who named it. I thought that was damn silly . We did not last very long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must have been more reasons than that?
      O'B

      Delete
  4. penis is a funny word..what is the plural of penis? Peni? Penises?...well my spell correct said Peni is wrong and Penises is ok..I think vajay jay is dumb. I like the word pussy..I hate the c word..if I ever use it you know I have been pushed beyond my little Pagan self and probably plotting a murder..the only time I have used it and made me laugh was the old vulgar nursery rhyme ..there was an old lady who lived in a shoe .she had so many children she could stretch her cunt over a rain barrel...now that's funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...I love it - You are one neat woman.
      O'B

      Delete
  5. Just don't call mine Dave....okay? Franky, Ferdinand, Jules or Clyde...that's okay with me....did you catch the 36 pack Kleenex Facial Tissue customer review on Amazon I posted a few weeks ago....I tagged it onto a little post about Brigham Young University's Idaho branch a few weeks ago...I thought it was quite appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did view that - our minds run in a parallel universe.
      O'B

      Delete
  6. BTW, the original Mormon anti masturbation video was pulled down by Brigham Young University....they finally realized what utter wieners they had made of themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  7. An interesting post.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Are you serious? Somebody complained about dick? No, wait...I misread that. Nevermind.

    Actually, I think dick has got to be the mildest reference to penis there is.

    As you pointed out, we guys discover D**K at an early age and I was no different. I named him...Mr-in-between, long before the hit song by Burl Ives, I might add. And as you say, there is no question that it has a stubborn mind of it's own.

    I leave the ladies to their own designs regards nick names for the great intimidator.





    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right: I'll leave that to the women; but I heard it referred to by two teenage girls in a Ms Marple video (it may have been the 'Body in the Library') as 'the holiest of holeys. A good religious reference.
      O'B

      Delete
  9. talking to your cock is perfectly normal, If your cock starts talking to you, probably ought to go see someone about it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would be fun to drop that on a psychologist.
      O'B

      Delete
  10. Are you kidding? Your dick reference was the best laugh of my day yesterday - it was perfect! And anybody who reads my blog or my books had better be ready to see the word 'dick' - it's one of my favorite ways to refer to the male anatomy. If they don't like it, they can go read something else. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am glad that tomorrow is the Sabbath!
    LOL!
    Visit msgtron.blog.com and check out alarm clock vibrators...

    Sarge

    ReplyDelete
  12. The funny thing about words is how some are more acceptable than others. Like dick or cock is preferable to prick or pussy is better than cunt.

    I used to know that George Carlin bit by heart. Now it seems like almost half of the seven words are allowed on radio and TV. Tits should never have been on the list, like a nickname or a snack. Tater Tits, betcha can't eat just one!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Reality check folks...to measure snow depth with your "dick" is pretty redundant, because if you actually attempted such a feat, you would end up doing negative numbers...but you knew that.....

    ReplyDelete
  14. I remember an episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza was trying to use that excuse with a girlfriend.
    O'B

    ReplyDelete

COMMENT: Ben Franklin said, "I imagine a man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all doctrines he holds are true, and all he rejects are false."