There ain’t no bacon in heaven
Cause God won’t let’ye eat pigs
You can’ eat ham or sausage
So what-d-u have with your eggs?
You can’t eat eggs in heaven
Cause that’s a chicken’s abortion you-see
No over-easy eggs or omelets
So that ain’t heaven to me.
I don’t want milk and honey
I don’t want tofu and sprouts
If that’s all you eat in heaven
You’re welcome to leave me out
Just give-me pickled eggs and slim jims
And a bottle of bourbon that free
And a willing girl with big tits
And that’ll be heaven for me.