Friday, February 24, 2017

OLD MAN GRUMBLES






Old women can complain about things; but it doesn’t come off the same way as old men grumbling.   When we grumble we are looked at differently:  advancing senility – crotchety old bastard – old man yells at clouds….. 





My wife and I went shopping yesterday and she complained that I kept bitching under my breath.
  
So here it is: am I wrong?

1.    We were food shopping in Walmart and two women were in with dogs: one with a boxer on a leash and another carrying this little harry bastard in her arms.  The dogs took one look at each other and went bat shit.   Why the hell would anyone carry a dog into a shopping center – especially one with food?   Are they looking for attention?  For every person that comes up and says ‘what a cute dog,’ there are twenty that are looking and thinking ‘what an asshole, dogs don’t belong in here.’   Don’t even get me started about dogs in restaurants.

2.    Women are absolutely unconscious when they are shopping.  They park their carts in the middle of the isle and then stand in front of a display and meditate while people are lined up on both sides waiting to get by – they seem totally unconscious that there are other people around them.    Either that, are they run into friends and stand at an intersection talking and unconsciously blocking traffic from every isle.

3.    Huge women driving motorized shopping carts are damn right dangerous.   They come down a narrow isle with the attitude of ‘get out of my way, can’t you see me coming?’


4.    This seems to be a rave against women; but in actual facts men don’t do these things.   However, I get really confrontational when I see a man packing a pistol in a public place.  I would walk up to him and offer to protect him until he gets back to his car, just in case the Walmart greeter or one of the women cashiers try to attack him – but I know I have to go home with my wife and would catch hell.
 
5.    Then when we checked out the young cashier puts my bag of Fritos (the other food group) in the shopping bag full of can goods.


I figure once a man has moved into his seventies and beyond he doesn’t owe anybody an apology for ole-man-bitching.   It is one of our last pleasures.
the Ol’Buzzard


7 comments:

  1. You're entitled to bitch about anything if we women are. David sometimes bitches under his breath when he's upset. I let him do it, otherwise if he holds it in there will be a supernova going off in Texas like no other in space.
    As for the inconsiderate women shoppers, I just move they're carts out of the way. Too bad if they don't like it.

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  2. Sometimes there is a lack of common sense when it comes to packing a grocery bag. For example, stop bruising my pears!! It gives them a life span of approximately 20 minutes once I get home. There is also lack of shopping cart etiquette. Pick a side of the aisle, please. We could bitch together. -Jenn

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  3. The funny thing is, I never experience any of these things! Our shopping place doesn't even have motorized cars. Also there are never enough people to block the aisle for anyone. We're lucky to have two people there.

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  4. Old people Wednesday (monthly at Safeway) was THE day to avoid. Even the staff stay home sick. Of, course, now that I am old enough to get in the act, I don't live there any more.

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  5. Your first point caught my attention because I've read a few articles about emotional support animals being found in places you don't normally expect to find pets. You might enjoy reading this one.

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  6. Don't you know cashiers and/or baggers are taught to put stuff like Fritos and bread on the bottom and canned stuff and watermelons on top??

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