Showing posts with label Naked Ghost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Naked Ghost. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 18, 2025

QUESTIONS I CAN’T ANSWER.

 

 

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

 

Why is a nickel larger than a dime?

 

Why are ghosts wearing clothes?

 

If Pluto is a dog, what the fuck is goofy?





 

Astrophysicists are constantly concerned with the possibility of a giant asteroid, similar to the one that caused the dinosaur extinction hitting the Earth.   But what happens to Earth if a large asteroid misses us but strikes the Moon?   Would it knock the moon out of its present orbit?  What happens to Earth if the Moon changes its orbit even slightly?

Everything is in equilibrium.  We can place satellites in space where the gravities of space objects cancel each other.  If the moon’s orbit changes will satellites fall out of the sky?

 

Why do vampire hunters always enter the vampire’s crypt minutes before sundown?







Why do working people vote for Republicans?


the Ol'Buzzard

 

 

 

 


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

GHOST AND GHOSTIES





My wife and I have tickets this summer to three productions at the Lakewood Theater, which is located about twenty miles north of us on a beautiful rural lake shore.      

The Lakewood is designated the theater of Maine.  It is the oldest theater in constant production in the U.S.; founded in 1901 – now beginning its 117th. Season.

Besides being known as the theater where many thespians honed their trade before moving to Broadway, the Lakewood is also haunted – or so it is claimed.





The ground the Lakewood sits on was once the site of an Indian settlement, then in the late 1800’s a spiritualist community was located there.   

The following is copied from the Lakewood web site:
  
Of course, the Theater is haunted.
It would have to be...displaced Indians, disgruntled spiritualists, the energy of thousands of actors...
In the two decades plus that CUE has been at Lakewood the reports, stories, rumors, sightings, and sensations have been numerous and remarkably similar. Common experiences include:
A man has been observed watching rehearsal from the balcony. The greenish outline of a person moves back and forth in the balcony. Heavy footfalls start at the back of the balcony, come down the right side of the theater, and the side door to the wings is heard to open and shut. Actors in the wings have experienced the sensation of being unable to move and a cold breeze passes by. On the warmest of August days there are cold, damp, "make your skin crawl," icy pockets throughout the theater. Many actors claim to hear conversations that they can't quite understand and there is no one else in the room.
Several no-nonsense type actors have heard musical numbers being sung as they hurry to rehearsal and then finding stage is empty upon arrival. In the days of the temperamental old light board, actors could break for lunch, lock the Theater, and return to find the lights "all set."

 There has always been noise and activity from Herbert's office. In the age of computers the clickety-clack of an old typewriter fills a quiet afternoon. The sound of drawers being opened, papers being shuffled, someone walking upstairs, coming down the stairs, the muffled sound of a telephone conversation...all part of the Box Office experience.
There is spirit at Lakewood.
There are spirits at Lakewood.


The idea of ghost is fanciful, and people would like to believe their existence, just as they would like to believe in gods and devils and angles and heavens; but reason and common sense defies that lack of logic. 

You were born naked.  Clothing is a vanity and protection from the elements; but clothing is not alive and is not a part of you.   If ghost existed, they would be naked.  You would see fat dead uncle a Poopy, who always wanted to bounce you on his knee, gliding down the stairs like Donald Trump on an escalator, with all his junk swinging in the breeze.   Now that’s scary!



But people always see ghost with clothes on…   In Vicksburg Confederate Park people claim to have seen a Confederate Officer in full dress riding a white horse.    Is there a ghost clothing locker, ghost swords and pistols and ghost horses?    Why is the beautiful female ghost always dressed in a gossamer night gown when she floats through you room at the haunted Inn?   Logically ghost would be naked.  

And exactly at what point in evolution do our ancestors qualify for ghost after death statue?   Are there Neanderthal ghosts; is there the naked ghost of Lucy wandering somewhere on the plains of Africa?   Do only homo-sapiens qualify for ghostiness?  (Ok, I made that word up.)    

Ghost are like fairies and big foot and angles.   People see what they want to see.   People believe what they want to believe.   At least, that is what I believe.

the Ol’Buzzard

If I am ever haunted by a ghost I hope it is this one:



 



Monday, January 6, 2014

I AIN’T SCARED OF NO GHOST!





Yesterday upon the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish I wish he'd go away

When I came home last night at three,
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn't see him there at all
by Hughes Mearns


Many people I know believe in ghost: of course most of them also believe in an imaginary man in the sky that controls the universe; a human that was (and is) a god; angles; Satan; a place called heaven; life after death; miracles; prayer - and the list could go on. 

I am a practical person.  I value logic and the ability to reason - and ideas that can move beyond the stink test (because someone tells me it is so.)

This is why I ain’t scared of no ghost

  


Don’t misread me: I love horror films and well written horror and fantasy novels.    I just don’t believe them.    I will stay up late at night to watch TV with zombies, werewolves, vampire and even the old 1950’s and 60’s B-movies.    I love a good horror book like the early Stephen King novels.   But again, I don’t believe them. 





As far as ghost are concerned: they don’t pass the stink test.   Beyond the twenty reasons I could list that ghost don’t exist the simplest and most profound is that you were born naked, clothes are a physical construct, and logic would insist that if ghost did exist they would appear without clothes. 






Now this could be scary! Can you imagine waking up and finding the naked ghost of your dead Uncle Fester Standing beside your bed and staring at you?



 Again: I AIN'T SCARED OF NO GHOST