Dear Canada
Please buy
Maine. Make an offer to Trump that he
can’t refuse. Remind him Maine did not
vote for him in the last election. Offer
to trade him England; he won't know the difference. Say you will recognize him as King of America
– appeal to his vanity.
Maine has great natural resources and a thriving tourist economy, so it would make sense for Maine to become one of your maritime provinces.
Mainers are so much like Canadians that there would be little adjustment
– though we might balk at God Save the King.
the Ol’Buzzard
